Beyond The Cold

MY WISHLIST IS THAT THERE WERE NO WISHLISTS!

2012-02-03T00:21:00.000-08:00

So, here I am again on my pulpit. Today's subject is an odd one, but after many years of seeing the same bullshit on an almost daily basis I feel compelled to tear this apart and dissect it as well.

I remember when I was very young, my father would take me to the barber. Not "to get a haircut" mind you, to an actual good old-timey Marine trained Barber. I went begrudgingly every 4-6 weeks and heard my father each time say "give my boy a regular haircut". Being so young, I didn't know at that time that a "regular haircut" meant a semi-military cut around an imaginary bowl on my head. Once I attained a modicum of self awareness as to how I looked to others I begged for anything but a regular haircut. It, of course fell on deaf ears.

However, during these esteem building trips I often passed on the street what some may refer to as "bums" hanging out on the corners or in front of the barber shop. My father called them "Winos" although I would guess from the smell of most that wine was not their drink of choice. Life, or they themselves, had made the unfortunate career choice of "panhandling" as a livelihood. I cannot say they were homeless for certain, but I can wholeheartedly attest these men had no showers if they had a home. They would ask repeatedly for spare change from every passerby. My father would occasionally give a few coins if he had change. When I once asked him about them, he said "Well, they simply made some bad choices son....or were dealt a bad hand and don't know what to do with it."

Pick almost any street in a large city throughout the world and you will see people who did the same. Begging, however, is NOT a career choice. This is where my anger towards the whole idea of a wishlist comes from. You see, dear reader, there are men and women right now who if they had a wishlist would have on it "Food for my children" or "Medicine for my seriously ill wife". I have heard countless stories over the past 4 years of people who have lost their homes and entire lives through economic hardship or natural disaster. People who in effect, have nothing.

So, excuse me when I see people from any walk of life peddling their wishlists about for people to buy them something. Really? Seriously? Excuse me...you have a fucking JOB. Not only that, but to use a 46" Television you also must have a house correct?

If you cannot buy the things you desire for yourself, then maybe you chose a poor career, or should live within your means with a different lifestyle. Where exactly is the Mercedes Benz On Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs? What happened to the days when people actually EARNED the things they had with hard work and perseverance? What happened to the joy of actually setting aside money in your house, or a bank account and saving (gasp) yes ...saving for the things you wish to have? The world has become a giant spoiled brat without a sense of pride or the value of independence. If you cannot afford it, you do not deserve it.

Now, I understand hard times. I also understand that some of these people with wish lists have adoring fans who WANT to give them all kinds of crazy things in order to "feel connected" with them. So yes, have that available somewhere for them to find. That is fine, it is still begging of course. I am sorry, it is, but at least you show some decency and pride if it isn't the first thing someone would read in say a twitter or facebook profile.

Here is the center of my irritability..... I see so many people "begging" it sickens me and it should you too. Many of these people live in nice houses or apartments and own a great many "nice things". I don't begrudge them that either. Good for them! They made it, or are making it and doing well for themselves that they are not living out of their car. Yet, to be online asking for fans to purchase things from you? Tacky and disrespectful. I always wonder about the poor schlub who spends his paycheck that he needs to live another two weeks who wants to impress some young starlet by buying her jewelry or that $400 outfit. I always picture the woman in question laughing at Mr. Schlub with her friends as she wears it to the next gala or exclusive party. meanwhile, Mr. Schlub eats Chef Boyardee and Ramen for the next 2 weeks and is behind on his car insurance. Yes..... Schlub is an idiot. Yet, the woman isn't without blame as well.

It comes down to having shame. If you have shelter and food to eat you are doing better than many others and should feel ashamed to beg for free things. What do we owe you? For what? Many of whom I speak, but not all ...are XXX starlets and camgirls. I love porn. I love my favorites and a few I can call friends. Yet, I don't owe them anything. They have a job! I have never seen a garbage man with a wishlist. Never seen a cashier either, or a waitress and they work their asses off most times for only tips! So, maybe that's the answer. Why not everyone make a wishlist, from the cop on the beat to the plumber fixing your toilet? From the celebrities on your sitcoms to truck drivers over the road! Why not? Because they earn their money just as honestly as anyone else does. People don't fawn over the nurses or the firemen of the world, and to be truthful we all know they should more than a woman whose claim to fame is a 400 man gang bang. Again...I am pro-porn, but I am also pro-common-fucking-sense.

These lists are often posted down our throats 10 to 15 times a day, and the first thing I see in a profile. Have a modicum of self respect people! If you feel you must have one to be accessible to fans, put the damn thing on your website! I guess this will probably alienate me in the XXX community, and that's full on fucking fine. Maybe before they leave they can buy me something off my wishlist, here it is:

5. For the world to finally mature and think independently for themselves.

4. That people actually have some pride in who they are, what they do, and earn what they feel they deserve.

3. For others to take their head out of their posterior long enough to see that the money spent on their selfish material goods could be donated to starving and needy families and children.

2. For those who disagree with me would take a moment to read it carefully 2 more times before they make a snap judgement.

1. That those who agree RT and make a pledge not to give any more to wishlists for anyone unless they are presented nicely and not in your face as if to say "Buy Me...Buy Me...." or...maybe not even at all.

Ok, that's all. Transmission ended. If it bothers you, perhaps do some soul searching before acknowledging IDGAF.

Or try the following:

IF YOU WANT SOMETHING...... BUY IT YOUR GODDAMNED SELF!

~P.W.

Anti BoobieWed: Why Boobs shouldn't be used for Evil! #AntiBoobieWed

2011-11-17T15:44:00.001-08:00

Well, since this is my pulpit.... it is high time for this sermon.

Soon after I joined twitter about 2 1/2 years ago, I noticed Wednesdays were a day for an odd event. I saw breasts all over in my stream unabashedly posted in avatars. Being a hot-blooded American heterosexual male I surely enjoyed the free "peek". Many are not even covered with clothes and just letting it all hang out.

If you have read anything I have written or follow me on twitter I stoically stand for the empowerment of women. I believe that women are oppressed not so much by the external world (the media, business environments, men at large) but also by internalizing the zeitgeist of our modern society. True the external subjugations exist, but at base level you can choose not to buy into it all. As with anything else, you choose your own beliefs and your own fate in life.

The problem is that what may have began as a helpful way of promoting disease awareness has become a selfish act of narcissistic flagellation by others. I have to wonder if the women participating in this event have stopped to think how insensitive it truly is to those who have suffered from breast cancer. In essence you are taking your healthy set of knockers and displaying them for adulation in the name of a awareness despite the fact that women are losing these same breasts by the moment. The women who are participating might as well wait outside a cancer clinic and motorboat the souls that are leaving.

Let me be clear: I am NOT AGAINST Breast Cancer Awareness. It saves lives when people are aware and go and have mammograms done! However, why not instead put up an avatar of a mammogram? Or perhaps a pink ribbon?

Why not a picture of a cancerous breast? Oh that would be distasteful right? As is promoting yourself using the survivors of a terminal disease. Showing your goods off in that event to garner attention for yourself is not only condemnable but disgusting. It is unacceptable.

When I brought this up originally as a subject of discussion, amongst the people that disagreed with me, there were two who happened to agree. I cite these two bold and courageous women (whom I will not name here) because they were Breast Cancer survivors. Both these women had issues with it prior and thought they were being too sensitive on the subject. Imagine that will you? A Breast Cancer survivor keeping SILENT because they disagree and are fearful that there may be something wrong with them. They both felt it an affront that healthy women would shove their tits in their faces, and the faces of other survivors. Essentially flaunting the fact that they haven't been stricken. That they still have both of their breasts.

This, of course, made me angry. My anger fell on deaf ears and #boobiewed in it's current form continues to this day. have no issue with the person or persons who are the original promoters as they themselves do not participate for their own personal reasons. I take issue with those who use it as an EXCUSE to post their breasts for admiration and attention.

If you want to show off and have exhibitionist tendencies, become an adult film star! They are more respectable as they do not pretend it is anything other than it is. Using a disease, a potentially fatal disease that destroys lives and causes emotional duress for your own personal gain is fucking reprehensible. Often, I do not even SEE mention of a mammogram, or anything to infer that it is due to #boobiewed other than a pair of tits in an avatar. I rarely see, but on occasion, a reference or link to the American Cancer Society.

If you want to show your tits, you do not need such a translucent excuse. Just show your tits and be proud of them! Revel in the fact that people enjoy your body and let it empower you. Do it honestly and on any day of the week. To use #boobiewed to do so just broadcasts your insecurities to the world. Especially to men, yes darlings we see right through that and are automatically thinking "daddy issues" or "she only does this once a week, shes reserved and not comfortable with her body enough to do it for funs sake".

Lastly, there are plenty of links you can put up during the day, ribbons you can wear or attach to your avatar, or stories to find of survivors to promote Breast Cancer Awareness with the hashtag added #boobiewed in your stream or on your blog. There are a million ways to encourage people and inform people. Showing off your yams and pretending you are helping a good cause should not be one of them. If it is, then you truly need to sit down with a therapist and discuss your inferiority complex.

For more information and people who are truly fighting for the cause and a cure please visit the following:

The Breast Cancer Society
http://www.breastcancersociety.org/

The National Breast Cancer Foundation
http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/

Susan G. Komen for the Cure
http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/

*Note: you will not find scantily clad women or pictures of full frontal nude breasts on those sites anywhere..... I wonder why?

~PW

CUNTFIDENCE

2011-06-29T13:57:00.000-07:00

So...I have written alot to help ladies find the right guy and avoid assholes in my blogs. However, though I preach and scream I see so many of the same mistakes and misery occur daily with repugnant accuracy. What I see are patterns people do not wish to change about themselves or people who continually pick the exact same partner. This is as consistent as the sun rising in the east and setting in the west. I would not make a good prophet as I have a distaste for predicting misery and despair, yet when I am faced with it so often I have the choice to keep quiet or sound like a broken record. I choose not to keep quiet on the offhand chance someone actually "gets it".

Why do you keep choosing the wrong mate, or the exact same mate in different skin? Why are you unhappy time after time? I hate to tell you ladies, but the fault does not reside 100% with men. The only constant in that equation out of all the different faces you have dated--- is YOU. You have chosen. It all came down to you. I am surely not defending asshole men (if you have read anything I have written you know this already) yet, I am pointing out that ultimately you are responsible for your poor choices. When a child burns it's hand on a stove, they generally don't go and touch the stove again 5-10 more times do they? In fact, for awhile they avoid anything that looks remotely like a stove for quite some time.

The hard cold truth of the matter is when it comes to mating, just as in the animal kingdom, the choice resides as it has always been from time immemorial... with the FEMALE. You have the choice from day one. It is called Natural Selection and we can thank good ol' Darwin for observing and recording his theories in the late 1800s. The choice, the power... all of the power resides within the womans decision. It is as simple as turning on the Animal Planet channel to see. It has not changed for a millenia and more than likely will never change.

Yet, here is where it gets interesting. Nowhere in the animal kingdom is there a case where the females compete against other females except for food. Females do not compete for mates...ever. Think about that next time you are putting on war paint for a night out with the girls or worried about your weight. Society has imposed that constraint upon women, not instinct. A male dominated society has created an aberration towards nature by inducing women to compete for men. Yes, there are animals who flaunt themselves in order to gain the attention of others, but I doubt very much there is a meerkat or a porcupine right now concerned with its appearance as compared with others of its species.

When you think of it on those terms it is quite ridiculous isn't it? Society has created generations of women who suffer from low self esteem and lack of confidence. Even women who believe they have high self esteem worry themselves with the competition or struggle with boundary creation. There is a difference between the nurturing characteristic of a woman which has thankfully formed the world and created it full of people, and the disease of people pleasing to the point of lack of self. This lack of confidence is preyed upon by the asshole "alpha" males. That instinct is difficult to overcome and the best many women can dismally hope for is that as the sex drive wanes more men can become interested in other things or can finally achieve self actualization. So by the time they can actually want a companion to love and share their lives with, they cannot get it up or have less desire to. Irony is the splinter in the eye of life.

Confidence in yourself is your only hope ladies. To stop competing with other women, accept yourself and let the men naturally select you. Thats it, that is all there is. it is simple, basic and unadulterated. If you wish to find a good man, or have a happy relationship...first you must be happy with yourself. No one can fill that void for you, and it is ignorant and ridiculous to expect someone to. Nature has given you the gift of choice, the gift of sensibility and truly all of the power.

So why do people keep picking the same mate in different skin? Why do women consistently find themselves in unhappy relationships and marriages? It boils down to that same confidence. If you are unhappy and you have tried everything, leave. It really is as simple as that and life is much too short to be wasted sitting in the miserable mire of sadness. As we know it, we are only given one lifetime to use. So not only are you wasting your choice or choices, you are wasting the precious life and days left effectively making the choice to be unhappy. You choose to be sad. I have been told time and time again by people that they think they are stuck, at present time there are almost 7 billion people on the earth. If you cannot find a worthy or worthier mate it means you have not tried. The reason you have not tried is that you lack the confidence. You let fear rule the rest of your time left here on earth and accept the defeat willingly.

Fear kills.

The patterns you let yourself fall into are much like wash, rinse, repeat. I see people repeat the same mistakes over and over again. People who think they need saving, yet never bothering to save themselves. People who await the next hero to their lives and expect miracles to explode around them like fireworks because someone took an interest in them. When they realize that these people are clones in disguise of the person or people that came before, the world comes down around them. Time to rinse! The sadness and inevitable breakup leads to despair, friend counseling and nights of crying into phones, texts or social media. Finally, we repeat and start that cycle all over again. Choosing another savior is only a heartache away. Especially when the asshole alphas of society know how to play the game. Their players after all, and they can sniff out the weak and wounded hearted prey farther than a bloodhound on a clear day. So begin the lies and fabrications until the prey is truly smitten with the disguise. By that time it is too late, the prey is ready ignoring all the signs, excusing all the inconsistencies, imbuing their fantasy into the masked man. Yet at the core, the same man you have dated for most of your life sits there giggling inside. Yes, we do do that. It isn't our fault. You are prey, you are stupid... and we know it.

So what is the predatory man's kryptonite? What do men fear? CONFIDENCE.

We fear true independence. We fear that you know the ruse. That you aren't playing the game like everyone else. We fear that the matrix has been revealed and you know you own all the power! We fear women who can see past the disguises, make no excuses for us, and notice our deceptions. We fear women who have decided not to repeat the patterns they have held so long. We fear other predators who stare us straight in the face.

We walk away. Sometimes run with tails between the legs. We try to name you "slut" or "bitch" to take away that dignity because an independent, free thinking confident woman terrifies men. Too many would destroy the system!!! Can't have that! Oh no they must be kept down. Subjugated. The self esteem must be brought down to controllable levels. They must be made to compare themselves to other women, they must be confused and kept on edge. They must be verbally abused and made to believe that they are "less than others" or "not worthy". Made to worry about flaws, body type, weight even whether their lipstick is the right shade. If not, men lose.

Contfidence. Confidence is feared by those with lack of confidence. Those with lack of confidence aren't worthy. Those with too much confidence blurring into arrogance will be more in love with themselves than you. Why? They are still playing the game, flaunting peacock feathers and still searching or open for another mate.

As Aretha Franklin sang: R-E-S-P-E-C-T is the key, if you don't respect yourself how in hell do you expect others to?

People treat you only how you ALLOW them to treat you. You cannot control others reactions, only the reaction you have. It is time for women to take that control back. Remember: a key is useless without a "keyhole". Stop whining and complaining and make this the first day of your life. Take your power back.

You have the vagina. The power. The choice is truly yours. Embrace your Cunt-fidence. Use it.......... while you can. Time is ticking.

~P.W.

The Intelligent Females Guide to Spotting A$$holes and Players!

2011-04-26T15:38:00.000-07:00

Well this one is a very long time coming but, it will be worth that wait. Consider this a peek into the secret recesses of the minds of men, they will probably attempt to take away my "Man Card" for this one, good thing I tore it up when I was 22.

Let me preface by saying not all men are assholes, but lets face the facts a good damn majority are. Asshole-ism isn't hereditary, but it is a learned behavior. Sometimes from a parent, other times from peers and friends, it is a disease and I present you the symptoms so you will not be infected until there is a cure. This is written from a heterosexual perspective of course, but the rule applies across preferences and orientations as...an asshole is an asshole, period.

I will outline the simple, easily readable signs of men who prey on others just racking up the points, as well as the men with emotional issues that are meant to be avoided at all costs. perhaps the latter are some men who should not be blamed due to circumstances beyond their control e.g. bi-polar disorders, traumatic events, etc. however, I am of the opinion that:

A. Harsh as it is...that is not YOUR problem, and

B. Each human being is responsible for their own behavior regardless of personal problems or ailments. Excusing behavior just propagates the problem and allows people to forever remain incapable of culpability.

We are all responsible for our own happiness at the end of the day.

First and foremost is RULE #1. RULE #1 is the GOLDEN RULE for men, out of all the signs this is the rule that all others fall to, the only thing that you really need to look for...EVER.

#1. NEVER pay attention to mans WORDS, only pay attention to a mans ACTIONS.

If a mans words do not match his actions... EVER, it is time to move on. It is that simplistic. We men LIE, it is what we do. Our libido is in control from the first time we discover ourselves in the shower. We are slaves to our peckers and do as they will. It is part lack of self control and part instinct as a human being. That instinct has been cultivated deep inside our genes for roughly half a million years. That sexual drive to procreate is stronger than people, especially women, realize. It is based on competition with other men and how men compare with other men. The old saying "notch on the bedpost" relaying how many women one has slept with as opposed to how many other men have is a way of finding validation. Just as finding the most beautiful "arm jewelry" to wear on ones arm, to be the envy of other men. To asshole men, you are simply and crassly; A HOLE. This is the real reason women are seen as sex objects. Mix these misogynistic ideals with the instinct to procreate and it is powder keg of a gender. This is not to say it should be excused in instances of adultery or disgusting examples of rape or molestation, far from it. We return to culpability, as human beings we are expected, justifiably so... to remain in control of our own bodies and instincts. We are not mere animals.

A man will lie cheat and steal to exercise his instincts. He will deceive you straight to your face and swear on children's lives just for a piece of ass. Sad as this is, it is the truth. Hard cold fucking truth. This is why you never pay attention to a man's words. You pay attention to his behavior. Men lead with action. Men are inherently pre-programmed to be more aggressive, we learn by doing and therefore... men DO. Pay attention to body language and the subtleties of each movement when a man tells you something, it will tell you much more than his words. If a man tells you he loves you, but does not show it romantically... he is lying, it is as simple as that.

That is the first commandment and all others are subsets of the first. Science has proven that contrary to popular belief men are MORE emotional than women. Men are just societal structured not to be. Women are more in tune with their emotions as they are allowed to be by society. Infant boys are higher emotionally reactive than infant girls. In a 2008 study published in the Scandinavian Journal of Psychology that closely monitored facial expressions, it was discovered that male children were emotionally responsive until the point where those emotions disappeared physically when the child became conscious of others reactions to them. In effect, they adopted a poker face. Men are able to hide their emotions easier than women. This means they are able to disguise intentions. Though women seem more adept at this ability, men are not able to do this for quite as long. Time is as much an ally to a woman as close observation is: a deceitful man will make mistakes and burn out quickly.

Now we can examine the rest. I will take each rule and explain them briefly, here they are at a glance:

#1. NEVER PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT A MAN SAYS, ONLY WHAT HE DOES.

#2. WHEN A MAN IS INDIFFERENT IT MEANS YOU ARE NOT WHAT HE WANTS.

#3. A MAN WHO IS CHEATING OR IN LOVE WITH ANOTHER WILL NOT WANT YOUR TIME.

#4. MEN WHO LOVE THEMSELVES TO THE POINT OF ARROGANCE AND VANITY WILL ALWAYS VIEW YOU AS SECOND BEST.

#5. IF HE CONTINUALLY PUSHES YOU AWAY, THEN PULLS YOU CLOSE..HE ISN'T DISTRAUGHT, HE IS PLAYING EMOTIONAL GAMES.

#6. ASSHOLES SEEK THOSE WITH SELF ESTEEM ISSUES AS AN INSTINCT. IF YOU LACK CONFIDENCE YOU ARE A VICTIM AND A TARGET.

#7. A MAN WHO TREATS YOU LIKE SHIT WHEN YOU FIRST MEET (OR BEGIN DATING) WILL ALWAYS TREAT YOU THUSLY BECAUSE YOU HAVE LET HIM. MEN DO NOT CHANGE UNTIL THEY ARE FORCED TO.

#8. PLAYERS ALWAYS ARE PLAYING THE GAME! Players are made not born.

#9. IN GENERAL, MEN DO NOT MATURE UNTIL THEY ARE IN THEIR MID 30S.

#10. THE ASSHOLE PLAYER WILL NEVER COMMIT AND IS FULL OF EXCUSE AFTER EXCUSE.

These are the 10 basic rules. Note how each and every rule can be related to rule number 1. Let us examine each one starting with the second.

Explanation #2: A man who is never there, too busy or avoids phone calls is up to no good. Plain and simple men have fought wars over women, scaled mountains to impress. A man who does not strive to keep in contact is not truly smitten with that woman. As men we are highly territorial and in competition always. From a purely scientific standpoint we will make every effort to keep a woman with us. Men will rearrange schedules, put off nights with the boys, give up anything in their life to be with that woman they adore. Men will leave families and move to other countries, men will kill to have the hand of the woman they love and are attracted to. THAT is how you know a man is truly taken with you.

A man is willing to sacrifice.

Explanation #3: A man who does not want that time with you, constantly making excuses and not striving for that precious time over a period, is cheating. As number 2 states, a man who is into you will make time. If you are married and the man works alot that may all it is. Yet, if he makes no plans and for months upon months he is not making an effort it is time to be suspicious. For a man to have another woman is easy, juggling the two becomes difficult the longer it goes on as both you and the other woman will begin to demand more and more time. The asshole man will typically choose to give the other woman that time and attention. Why? He already has YOU. You are already locked in, he has to ensure his mistress is as well and keep her around until he is ready to leave you or ready to set her loose. If you are the mistress (shame on your ass) and notice the exact opposite, well then guess who he has chosen to begin with? That is right...his WIFE. In that case you would be just a hobby.

Men cheat because they can. If you allow that behavior rest assured, he will repeat the offense just like any other criminal without repercussion.

Explanation #4: Women are continually attracted to the bad boy. Guess what? It may be a surprise but the bad boy is bad for you! Arrogant cocky men are cocky because they have tricked hundreds of women before you into thinking "your love would change him". We eat that bullshit mentally retarded thinking up. It allows us to practice our asshole craft! We continue to accept expensive gifts, call you names, keep women subservient and even beat women physically. Were allowed (and I say allowed because women will keep falling for these men and sticking around) to cheat with multiple women, take every possible advantage until we are through with you. A cocky, aggressive asshole man will never take you seriously and will never love you........because he doesn't RESPECT you. The Alpha-male mentality amongst men, and women... decrees that these men are the valued progenitors. In reality, these men are exactly the type of men your womb should avoid. Unless you want to pass on those destructive genes and personality traits to possible children, or have that asshole mans behavior instilled by observational learning absorbed by wide opened eyes creating another generation of asshole men, just run away. In effect you will be teaching daughters that they are sex objects and to have low self esteem as mommy does, or young boys that it is more than acceptable to treat women as you are treated, including psychological or physical abuse. You will only have yourself to blame.

In effect choosing to be with a cocky "bad boy" is akin to choosing to live in a war zone. A conscious choice for hurt, pain, stress and depression.

Explanation #5: The asshole players of the world play games. The "push/pull" game, the "if you really love me/you don't really love me" game, the "I'm leaving" game. Great tried and true games! These psychological mind benders have worked for centuries. The stupidest of women fall for them repeatedly! Often dating the same men because they have mastered the same games. While the push/pull game is the best to keep a woman on her toes wanting you, the I'm leaving game is the best to make a woman resort back to total subservience for fear of losing the jewel that is a man. The one with the best overall results is the you don't really love me game, that one keeps a woman (particularly those who want to "fix" a man) going for years and years. All the while the asshole man is snickering inside. Men prey on women, search for insecurities and use whatever game will work. These are the best, but others are just as efficient. The "no one will ever love me" game is tried and true, as is the "no one will ever love you like I do/no one will want you" game of the most controlling and abusive men. Keeping a woman guessing and feeling vulnerable, placating her need to be nurturing or desire to be wanted are these games goals. The sad part is for the stupid or insecure women who most desire validation they work well and continue to destroy self confidence. A man who truly cares about you will endeavor to uplift your spirits and self image at all times. A man who truly cares about you will not play games, there is no need.

There is a difference between confidence and arrogance, that difference is in how they see and treat you.

Explanation #6: Notice yet how all of these rules build upon one another? Number 6 is an important one. Asshole men seek those who are vulnerable and insecure. They do not see them as wonderful human beings who may need a confidence boost or some tender, loving care. They see those women as easy prey.They see them as CUM BUCKETS. Period. They can use those insecurities to their advantage and play the games at a much simpler level. The stronger you are, the happier you are as a woman, the less you will fall for these men and their lines or behavior. It is just as nature has its rules, the strong seek the weak. Predators seek only the strong to have as lifelong mates. Darwin had that part perfectly right. The weak are killed or discarded. As a woman your defense, your best defense is to believe in yourself and fully appreciate your own beauty. By validating yourself you need not keep searching for such and become less of a victim. You disintegrate their power over you and at the same time become a worthy mate. Love yourself, all of your strengths, your perceived flaws, and your weaknesses and you are worthy of true pursuit. This weeds out the men from the boys and the assholes from the good men. One last bit of advice: a good man will pass on by most vulnerable victims, to be blatantly honest the baggage that comes from those with heavy years of packed insecurities is too much for good men to carry and sift through. Some good men will, and those are the real keepers. Good men want good women. There is nothing wrong with that. If you want to attract a good man, you now know how to do it.

Explanation #7: Bad boys do not change. In fact, they get worse over time. They treat you like shit in the beginning and will treat you even worse by the time they leave or you finally do. The problem is, as I have said they simply do not respect you because you do not respect yourself. They will use and abuse you, keeping you vulnerable for as long as they need you. It is a game. If you are willing to accept that behavior in the beginning of a relationship then they already know that you will accept it for months or years to come. If you let a man live off you without a job in the beginning, what makes you think they will decide to get one later on and contribute? Why should they when you have already proven you will provide? If you allow a man to hit you once and stay with him, you are saying that it is an acceptable reactionary behavior and proclaiming that you will allow him to strike you again! If a man is caught cheating in the beginnings of a relationship, or even just caught in a lie... you can expect that it will continue. We men are creatures of habit, in effect we never grow up and are always children trying to find out what we can get away with. Asshole men endeavor to get away with it all and routinely. If you allow one transgression the bad boy assumes you will allow others. Break that cycle and respect yourself enough to leave before you are another tragic number on the bad boy/asshole man's dark history of broken hearts.
Respect yourself or no one else will.

Explanation #8: As I have said players are always playing that game. They are never switched in an off position. Every move is calculated, never think it isn't! Men talk behind closed doors, asshole players and regular men alike, even good men...about their conquests. They talk about mistakes and victories. The difference is asshole player men talk about how they have deceived and what they have gotten away with. They talk trash about the women they have hurt, used and abused. Calling them names and degrading their character. The lack of respect is astounding. I have sat and listened as a man talked about how he had notebooks with women's names in them and the lies he has told them, dated through the months he led them on! He had 7 different cellphones each with a label on the back of a woman's name and his "occupation" he had told her, as well as what number notebook to look in for his story when it rang. This man wrote in each corresponding girls notebook after every call, and kept every story straight. Meanwhile he was 16 years married and had two children. None of the women knew about one another, and the wife knew nothing the whole 16 years long. He went to church on Sunday, belonged to community outreach programs and held a decent job. Yet in his late 30s he was having 7 affairs at once while family, friends and neighbors suspected nothing at all and thought he was a genuine good man. Never think you are incapable of being used or deceived, the more you believe that the more you are vulnerable. The asshole player keeps playing until that game is done and nothing at all will stop him. There are no consequences to his actions after all. The lies will stretch miles and miles as well as excuses and alibis. The best defense, as I have said is to respect yourself.

Remember also, player asshole men are made, not born. They are created by both society and experience. If you willingly do men harm, you are creating men who will learn to have no respect for women out of fear of being hurt again. Women have a great responsibility to themselves and other women to ensure no more asshole men are created or allowed to continue their sordid deceitful reigns. These disgusting uses of manhood learn from fathers, brothers, friends and co-workers that it is acceptable to act these ways towards women. Never accepting responsibility or being forced to. Those that successfully evade that brainwashing and are good, honest, loyal men who treat women well should not be mistreated. This will turn them into asshole players as fast as a vampire begets another.

Explanation #9: The general rule is that men do not mature until somewhere in their 30s. Remember that over the course of time men have to compete for status and mates while they are young, this is an evolutionary instinct more so than a societal structure although that plays an integral part too. As a male gets older, that need for competition, as well as acceptance by peers fades. This emotional change is in due partly to less testosterone driving the libido of a male and an acceptance of aging. Values simply begin to change, what was once held in high regard, is no longer a priority. Men are then seeking a mate instead of conquest. Seeking companionship instead of validation. Asshole men, fruitless and feeling vulnerable themselves become desperate and often are stuck in the games they have lived a life playing unable to break out of the mold they have created for themselves. Yet, the players must succumb at some point to the realization that no one their age is competing with them anymore. To say this is a culture shock is an understatement. Typically for both men and asshole men there is one last hurrah if you will in the form of a mid-life crisis. The need for Alpha-male hierarchy and pecking order perception is replaced by genuine fear of loneliness, the asshole men finally evolve...too bad it is 15-20 years too late to be of any worth to anyone.

Explanation #10: This is the final tour-de-force. Asshole men evade commitment at all costs. Even the ones finally maturing after years of playing. This is in part due to distrust of others as they have so easily deceived so many. If it was that easy for them to do, they do not wish to be fooled. Asshole men will fight as hard to avoid commitment as they did getting a piece of ass in the first place. They know when dating a woman she is only for the time being and never intend on taking it to a full level. Often, they will resort to picking fights or constant excuses, playing all of the games I have mentioned. They will resort to allowing themselves to be caught, self destructing the relationship if need be. Although it should be reiterated this is a last resort as the really good women in bed are best kept around somehow for return customers and booty calls. Those women they will try to part from amicably often noting the "its not you, its me" line or blaming anything other than the girl at hand.

There is a caveat I must mention here: the controlling abusive assholes will endeavor to commit EARLY. Far earlier than societal acceptable. They subconsciously know the mask will fall off shortly and will attempt to make sure they have you locked in. They don't want anyone else to have you and unlike the average asshole, they fear that competition. They are in the relationship to control every aspect of you and your life from beginning to end. Their will bends a woman to them. These men are the worst of the worst and are the abusive wife beating and psychologically destructive men of the world. To these men, women aren't even a conquest, they are a possession. Through manipulation, passive aggressive games and outright cruelty these men, these oh so wonderful bad boys that prey use and abuse oftentimes are allowed to continue behavior until they are dead.... or a woman is.

So...there you have it, those are some guidelines. As I always say, you have been warned ladies. There are always blatant signs that are excused or put aside, and someone always pays the price.

I wish you luck and happiness in love. If you find a good hearted kind man, treat him right and take him not for granted. There are many women out there who have already learned these lessons and will not hesitate to do so for him. Do not let him become part of the disease. Avoid becoming the "bad girl" as well, because if you think you have been disrespected before, thats nothing compared to the way men discuss conceited, vain women behind their backs! Again there is a difference between confidence and conceit, and the women who are conceit and full of themselves we, both good men and bad, have no use for them.

For the men out there, particularly the bad boys and asshole players... your days are numbered. Women are becoming stronger each decade and educating themselves to your games. They do not need men, and are seeking good men more and more. Aside from that, the good men have declared open season on the assholes, many of those have daughters to consider, others just believe women are a precious beautiful jewel and are tired of seeing them suffer at your hands.

Here's to the good men and good women, love each other and be good to one another... we only get one life, live it happy.

~P.W.

Thoughts

2011-04-04T18:22:00.000-07:00

The last thought I have before I sleep
is of your warmth, the promise I keep
the first thought I have a waking day
is that you are an unanswered prayer I must've prayed

The light in my life used to fade so slow
and now it shines a bright favored glow
you are the wind that carries my song
you are the rain I have waited so long

to say that I love you lacks intent of the word
a congress of my emotions are forever blurred
so I shall show you my feelings for every day that I live
and when I pass from the world and have nothing left to give...

I shall pray one last time for you and for me
one last thought of love eternally
that I may return by majestic gentle grace
as your mirror, so Ill forever see your face

I love you

UltraSheen: When Personality Overcomes #WINNING

2011-03-07T18:41:00.000-08:00

The Media is a circus, it has been from it's inception. Old movies from the 40s consistently showed the farce of reporters clamoring for that "big story" trampling over one another to get to the nearest payphone for a scoop. So why is the current climate surprising to anyone?

This may surprise some who know and read my twitter stream or blog ramblings, but I happen to like and support Mr. Charlie Sheen. Yes, yes I know people are so over it all already. I know it goes against the grain that you expect from me with my constant tirades against the ignorance of reality television and the publics fascination with making celebrities into Gods. Does it? Seriously...does it? If you think that then perhaps take a few steps back and continue reading.

The reason I of all people am enjoying this is I see what Charlie Sheen is doing. I see it clearly as it would be something I would endeavor to do if I had his celebrity status. It is the same thing that Joaquim Phoenix has done as recent as a year ago. A great spectacle of crazed blissful wonder.

What we are witnessing is not a man crying out for help (Dr. Drew be damned) or someone committing career suicide. It is someone who has decided in sheer (sheen?) genius to turn the media upon itself. To take the public fascination with celebrity worship and pit it against itself through the socially abnormal means of free speech. Whether he has a drug issue or not, I cannot say. What I do know is he is calculating every action, every word. Just as anyone in the limelight they are there because they feed on reaction. Negative reaction, positive reaction, it makes no difference.

He has in a months time become of bigger celebrity status than anyone in recent history. If you are sick of hearing about him, you only have yourselves to blame as this is the socio-climate that the public has created. Reality television and making icons out of people who have become "famous-for-being-famous" has a cost and this is it. Yet, those who watch and engage in it all are fueling the fires. The public of ignorance created Paris Hilton, the Kardashians and Kate Gosselin, just as they now have given a second life to Charlie Sheen. He knows this and is using it. Manipulating the system towards his own gain. Sheen however has talent and is an exceptional actor and is perhaps more deserved of notoriety than many others of that ilk. He at least has paid some dues and has played some memorable roles.

It may interest some to know psychologists have even given a name to it all:

Celebrity worship syndrome (CWS) is an obsessive-addictive disorder in which a person becomes overly involved with the details of a celebrity's personal life. Look it up!

It is the old "You Only Have Yourself To Blame" adage for the people who condemn him. As for the rest of us, there is a sweetness to watching the system degrade and eat itself, choking on #tigerblood and #winning statements. I enjoy watching his antics, which are no better or worse than any rockstars mind you, and watching him play the game. It is a game of grandiose proportions and this is what he means when he posts #winning.

He is making a mockery of the Hollywood institution whether that is his goal or not. If it is I commend his genius and support the madness until the end.

If I am wrong and hes just lost his mind through substance abuse and beautiful women then even better! How can a man truly be villified if he is acting the same way he always has? When an entire sitcom was based around his personality and lifestyle it was agreeable and comical, however when that is real life it must be abhorred and condemned. Many of those who are finger pointing at him now were watching that sitcom 8 weeks ago and laughing their asses off.

If that isn't Hollywood Hypocrisy I don't know what is.

I do not know if the man is losing his mind abusing drugs or to what extent. What I do know is that he is using the media like a drug, and people are sniffing, snorting and just injecting it up! If you reject this Frankenstein monster it might do you well to remember: YOU MADE HIM.

Aside from that I respect the man and his honesty. He is unabashed and uncensored and extremely intelligent. I believe he knows full well the shitstorm he has conjured and he will use that spell to his advantage. What is interesting is what he will say next as a year ago he garnered flack for his views on 911, specifically that he believed it was an inside job by our government involvement. He is a truthseeker, and on those grounds alone I support him. He doesn't just accept what he is told about anything and that is the mark of a sane and bright man. Whatever you may think...this should continue to be entertaining.

Go Charlie! Go with your #tigerblood and incoherent ramblings! Have as much fun as you possibly can squeeze out before you end up in that Pine Box. Some of us get it, and are raising our fists with you. Oh, and Charlie.... do not worry about the afterlife, God has a great sense of humor too and loved Hot Shots!

~PW

Note: 3/25/2011 There have been a few chastisements of my blog and opinion of Mr. Sheen by loyal dedicated friends and so I wish to set the record straight.

As many know I abhor violence against women and have called for public castrations of men such as Chris Brown and Mel Gibson. The latter was very difficult for me as I long had great respect for Mel and his movies until he turned into a giant steaming rage filled turd. I think those who have commited such a heinous act are less of a man with deep emotional issues to begin with.

That being said and in relation to this blogpost, I need to differentiate my opinion of Mr. Sheen for those who have misperceived. Let me make it perfectly clear:

I DO NOT SUPPORT HIS VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN!

In my opinion, the claims have been unsubstantiated, and i allow for the possibility that I am wrong. The fact that one of the women tried to extort him, and two others changed their stories multiple times from "He did!" to "He did not!" has caused me to put Charlie in my "Possible Asshole" box. I have seen only one photo of a woman who claimed a bruise was due to Sheen and though damning, this woman was also said to have wanted Sheen to pay extortion money, which he refused.

Honestly has he acted a fool when on drugs? Yes. So have many other people. I am not condoning his behavior at all. my point with the blog was to give another perspective on how the man is thinking, what his goals may be with this carnival of horrors and extreme behavior as well as to point out that the public, society at large created this environment in the first place. I have no respect for someone who hurts women physically or emotionally. I only question the events that are said to happen exactly as they were said to happen. Convolution kills the truth.

I will say this, if he is PROVEN to have hurt someone, past or future I will write another article telling the man exactly what I think of him. I will publicly deride him and denounce his behaviors. In my opinion once violent, always violent. At the very least always the possibility of violent. If you disagree I ask you to talk to the people who cleaned up Chris Brown's dressing room after his recent interview on a morning show.

Until then, be safe and well and treat each other with respect.

My Birthday, Forty Reasons to Celebrate: HATE

2011-02-26T19:01:00.000-08:00

Celebrate! Celebrate! Dance to the Music!

I have a yearly ritual. an annual if you will, to sit drink a fine coffee while listening to music and reflect on the year before and where my life has led. I do this on my birthday and have since my early 20s. It is a meditation of victories and losses, more so with correct decisions and mistakes.

Today, I turn 40. Though that is difficult for many of you to believe considering my infantile and adolescent behavior at times. It happens to be the truth. I am officially middle aged (why they call it that I do not know as most do not make it to the ripe age of 80 anyway) and can start my mid-life crisis. Where are the hookers and blow?

In any case, I want to thank the heavens I am still here as it was a tumultuous year. I had many trials and tribulations this year that I will not bore you with, and there is reason for that...you have your own. Instead I will expound on what I have learned this year.

#1. The biggest thing I learned this year is that you can never judge someone by the friends they keep. Though my opinion may be low of someone, this does not mean that all of that someones friendships are to be wary of. The reason I mention this is that I judged, very correctly I might add, a particular woman to be deceitful, narcissistic and to be ever so blunt, a cheating uncaring whore. I kept my distance from her and her friends purposely to avoid any of her chaos. However, I had misjudged her acquaintances wrongly and ended up falling in love with the most beautiful wonderful woman I never thought in my life could exist: @TheAlphaPussy.

Now the deceitful whore in question, while continuing to throw her vows in the garbage disposal daily was not happy about my lady and I seeing one another. She only introduced us you see, because she thought I would never be interested in "a fat girl". She never knew me at all, only her twisted idealistic fantasy of the perfect man whom she will never have.

Imagine the Evil Queen from Snow White and you have a great idea, a "Queen Bitch", if you will as she self describes herself proudly. The reason I even mention this woman of ill repute is that it was originally to her urging and speaking of her friend @TheAlphaPussy that brought us together, on my birthday...one year ago. After which jealousy reared it's already ugly head in celebration of ignorance and lack of virtue as the Queen Bitch months later wished ill upon our burgeoning relationship. By then it was too late as my mate, my Goddess and I were falling truly, madly, deeply in love. She told friends that she could not wait until we "crash and burn" and was gleeful at the hope of a miserable joyless end. We all know people like this. People who cannot truly be happy for others good fortune whether it be in the realms of love or career or even financial windfall. Many call them "haters". It goes deeper than that. It is a person that cannot or will not find love or success in their own life, cannot find a feeling of self worth and therefore, lashes out at anyone and everyone damning them for finding that which they seek.

Throughout my life I have almost vampirically fed on peoples negativity. Much like The Emperor in Star Wars: Return of the Jedi, I feed off the hate and turn it into motivation and cheer. These people are useless in every sense of that word. From bullies to just the simple nay-sayers, always remember the only opinion that truly matters is your very own. When you die, no one goes with you.

So a debt of thanks to the Queen Bitch who brought my Goddess @TheAlphaPussy into my life. Sending me a picture of her behind for my Birthday to cheer me up set things in motion and we are almost a year together. I have never, and will never have a better gift than the love of that woman. It took me 39-40 years to feel blessed in this way, but I can tell you the wait is worth it.

#2. Celebrate the hate! Celebrate the negativity! It means that you are someone who threatens another. It means that you are envied and not only a worthwhile member of society but one to be renowned. It means that you have garnered attention. It can mean you are on the right track in your life, or simply that you have assets and talents others do not. It may even mean, that you have found true love.

And to all of my friends who have followed me this past year and before, you are incredible. I thank you all for your support, your indulgence, for when you heartily agree and when you vehemently disagree. You who follow have made me a better person by your friendship.

Thank you. Be ever safe, and well.

~PW

The Neverending Blame Game O.D.F.

2011-01-21T20:42:00.000-08:00

This could also be called Entitlement: Part Two.

I am one disgusted human being lately. Disgusted at the amount of people who lack the ability to take responsibility for their own choices.

Point blank, you are where you are in life because of your own choices. Fate and destiny can only do so much to aid you in the equation. If you are unhappy in your life, you have only yourself to blame and absolutely no one else. You cannot blame the stars, your tragedies, or the limits set upon you at birth. There are many who have had the same limits and worse who struggle on and succeed in their lives to amazing proportions. Did you know Einstein was dyslexic and possibly had ADHD as well as Obsessive Compulsive disorder? What about Stephen Hawking who was diagnosed with ALS just a few days after his 21st birthday? Historians believe Abraham Lincoln was Bi-Polar, Vincent Van Gogh suffered from Epilepsy, and due to some of his behavior Sir Isaac Newton may have had Schizophrenia.

The list goes on and on. Athletes with one arm or leg. Oscar Pistorius has NO legs and is an Olympic hopeful in his country of South Africa. These people not only survived, they changed the world and were amazingly successful in their lives. People who in the face of mounting adversity struggled through it and kept looking forward. Beethoven was deaf and had asthma, which in the 17th century was a death sentence for most. Micheal J. Fox still battles Parkinson's Disease yet hasn't entirely given up acting. Christopher Reeve after having parayzed himself in a horsing accident, never gave up and acted and directed all the way until he died in 2004. Not only did these people continue on fighting hard and strong against the tragedies and disabilities in their lives, but they also did good deeds including creating foundations and making the needs for research known to the public regarding their particular ailment.

So what have you done with your life? There are hundreds of thousands of military men and women who die for your freedoms each year for you to be sitting on your ass reading this. Many of those unsung heroes and heroines come back without limbs or ailments themselves. They volunteer their lives so that you can sit and whine about what is keeping you from being happy. They take the risk many are afraid to, away from their families in foreign lands so that you can complain about your lack of success while still others feign agreement with you so that the same truth can subconsciously fester within themselves. That truth is that it is your own damn fault.

O.D.F. ...... your Own Damn Fault.

I notice people in daily life constantly playing the blame game. Blaming everything negative that happens in their lives on everything from the world is out to get me to acts of God. Blaming their financial lack of success on the unemployment rate, the government, bureaucracy, and even their spouses. When it comes to those unhappy in their marriage or relationships it is always the spouses fault, whomever he or she is. I sit and ponder smacking so many people throughout an average day that I should've been a prizefighter.

If you aren't happy in your life, fucking change it. Take responsibility for your life. It is yours and no one elses. You are to blame for your circumstances, no one else. If your relationship doesn't fulfill you, work it the fuck out or leave! If you aren't making enough money, go to school! Get another job.

Do something besides sit on your ass and coast through life complaining you douchebag, You are taking up space for those who actually want to be here and live the miracle of life we are given!

This modern society we live in has become a society of apathy and irresponsibility. No one is culpable for the life that they live anymore. There is always a way to climb out of the hole you have dug if you seek it actively. You only have yourself to blame for taking that job, marrying that person, or not challenging yourself enough with your very own life. Like it or not, you exist and you do not have forever. The time clock is ticking and the amount of years you have left are dwindling. This is not a competition, it is a race of the clock before you have no breath left to challenge fate and yourself. If you go through life blaming everyone else for your circumstances then at the end you will finally run out with no one else to blame.

What I have told you, many of you already know. Being happy is a choice. A choice so many fail to make because they put that emotion in the responsibility list of other people. People become dependent on others to "make" them happy instead of endeavoring to actually be happy themselves. Whether it be a mate, their career, even their pets. You cannot expect the universe to make you happy, especially when you have done nothing at all to deserve it. Those who deserve happiness are those who do something about their lives and circumstances. To every action is an equal and opposite action..... you reap what you sow. If you sit and cruise through life, life will just cruise on by while you wait and complain...and blame everyone else. The longer you wait for things to change, the longer they will stay the same. Your life is in your hands.

There are those who will call this a simplistic viewpoint. They will claim that it isn't that easy. Hell no it isn't! Life isn't that easy. But you only have two choices: do nothing or do something. Leave your worthless mate or attempt to fix your relationship. Leave your low paying job and find one that deserves your skills. It IS black and white. There is no gray between happy and unhappy. Change it, or continue the misery.

It is time to take responsibility for yourself and your actions.

Live the life you have been blessed with, strive against the trials and tribulations we all must face in order to survive.

Stop being a whiny, crybaby bitch.

What have you done today to be happy?

(censored) HF.W.A. HUCKLEBERRY FINN.WITH.ATTITUDE

2011-01-05T20:57:00.000-08:00

	"There comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular but one must take it because it's right."
	Martin Luther KING Jr.

When is the book burning party? Who is first in line? This Week it has been decided that Huckleberry Finn will be reedited and presumably allowed back into schools after removing the derogatory term "nigga" or better known as "the N word" by honky crackers. If you have read my blog at all you know I cannot and will not stand for any censorship at all. This subject comes up time and time again in our manic politically correct society.

Here's some things you may not know about Mark Twain, also known as Samuel Clemons who wrote Huckleberry Finn and Tom Sawyer:

Twain once witnessed the brutal murder of a slave in Hannibal that affected him deeply. The man was killed by a rock-throwing white man for the crime of "merely doing something awkward."

Twain, much like Charles Dickens, wrote much about class separations and distinctions and both detested the invisible lines that delineate men from other men.

Twain's summers were spent at his uncle's Missouri farm where he worked and imagined his future writings. He learned slave stories, folklore, and speech patterns that would be lost today without his help.

Twain was simply using the modern day slang and colloquialisms of that era. Many fail to perceive that though the word “nigger” is a very ugly word, it is all the more reason why Twain chose to use it to further his point. If anyone bothered to read or study Mark Twain it is easily seen in th narrative of his tales he believed in equality and friendship across races and boundaries. The words are used to strengthen the subtext and to create the climate of an age. Much the way World War II novels and letters home were filled with derogatory terms such as "slants" and "Japs". Vietnam stories were filled with "Gooks" and letters home during the occupation of Iraq to this day are filled with "Camel-Jockeys", "Sand Niggers" and "Towel Heads" The fact of the matter is that prejudice exists and it is a negative mindset. It is also a reflection of the age that it exists in. Do I approve of people running around using these terms? Hell no if it is mean spirited. If it is a joke, well then a joke is a joke and that is fair game for anything.

I think this is more a representation of the society we live in and the tension that exists between cultures and races. That is obvious to anyone. More so, and this is the part that may piss some off, it is a representation of those races and cultures insecurity. People who are secure with themselves do not care so much about the opinions of others. For a Southern white man who grew up with slave owners it would probably be impossible not to find some elements of our 20th century definition of racism. Yet, to call Mark Twain a racist is a fallacy and does a disservice to the contributions he made in the area of colloquial speech, folklore, and narration.

Anyone who has ever read Mark Twain's works, particularly Huck Finn can easily see it is NOT racist.The entire book is about a young white child helping a runaway slave.

If we don't believe in freedom of expression for people we despise, we don't believe in it at all. ~Noam Chomsky

The thought is ridiculous. It comes down to oversensitive people and a vast amount of "white guilt". There are many who would love to forget that slavery existed to make themselves feel better. There are others, particularly African-Americans who want no one to forget and rightly so. However, it happened. It is over. If you are black be thankful it is over and that you are now free to enjoy all of the rights and liberties that everyone else does. For those who aren't black stop pretending you understand what the plight of a black person is in America. Abraham Lincoln signed the Emancipation Proclamation in 1863 which bestowed freedom of 3.1 million of the nation's 4 million slaves, and immediately freed 50,000. (Psst! Abe Lincoln was white.) Whatever his reasons as historical perceptions vary, he did it. It is time for the races to grow the fuck up. It happened, it was righted and it is over. It was horrible but it is history. Shall we deny history? Or shall we move on?

I refuse to pay for what my forefathers did. They were ignorant and misled people. I do not agree and I hope that none of my family owned slaves. If they did, I make no apologies. Just as I will not pay for Adam and Eve eating an apple. That was a decision made before I was here in this realm, in this universe. I will regret and take responsibility for what I have done in my life and my lifetime and that alone. Talk of reparations as Penn & Teller would say, are BULLSHIT! I was not there and it would not have been my choice. I believe many are just looking for a free handout which is sad, if anyone did deserve it, it is the people who actually lived through it.

The dirtiest book of all is the expurgated book. ~Walt Whitman

As for Huck Finn being a racist book; perhaps the most convincing evidence of the non-racist content of the novel is in the scene where slave catchers are rowing toward Huck and Jim who is hidden on the raft. The slave catchers ask Huck, "Is your man white or black?" Huck struggles mightily with the customs of his race and then bravely blurts out, "He's white." Huck saved ol' Jim's life. He loved him. That's what it is all about. Loving each other because and in spite of our differences.

Censorship is wrong under any circumstances. No one pointed a gun to any one's head and demanded they read the works of Mark Twain. Twain's universe is of great literature and of people struggling and making right choices. many of his stories are of the friendships he shared with people of all different languages and cultures as a child. When we begin to censor we begin to ban and outlaw. It isn't long before books are burned and we live in a world where Fahrenheit 451 is a reality. Critical thinking is outlawed and the ability to make one's own individual decisions is no longer possible. How far are we away from that reality thanks to politically correctness taking over like a disease of thought? I do not think it is very far at all.

I leave you with this, I censored a song for you by Lil Wayne. Enjoy that as you think about the future of music, literature and the arts. Imagine a world where everything is sanitized for your protection.

Lil' Wayne: Imma Huckleberry Finn Wit Money!

(I sanitized and removed the words "nigga" & "bitch" and replaced them with the obvious, enjoy!)

Work On The Kitchen Table
Where The Bags At [x3]

Work [x2]

Imma Huckleberry Finn Wit Money [x3]
And I Don't Love Dat Tom Sawyer

I Tell Er Tom Sawyer, Tom Sawyer, Tom Sawyer, Tom Sawyer Make Me Rich
Imma Huckleberry Finn Wit Money
And I Don't Love Dat Tom Sawyer

[Verse 1:]
Yea, Backpack Full Of Stacks All The Tom Sawyeres Love Me
Don't Compare To These Rappers Im On A Diff'rent Budget
I Ain't Even Gotta Practice Never Gettin Rusty
No I Ain't Lookin Down But I See No One Above Me

The Paper Bag Brown Wit Durty Green Money
The Bank Acount Good Full Of Clean Money
Fuck Chain Money, I Blow Ring Money
I Bet That Motha Fucka Neva See Tha Big Money

Magazine Money Do A Spread On Me
And You Can Turn Ya Back But Never Turn The Feds On Me
Read The Note Attached We Got Ya Lil Homey
We Need Bread Homey Or Das Ya Dead Homey

Im Like A Corleone Meet The Fucking Mob
I Can Get You Whacked Or Give Ya Ass A Job
Weezy F. B. I Holla C-M-B
Coca Cola Classic Caffeine Free

[Hook]
Work On The Kitchen Table
Where The Bags At [x3]

Work [x2]

Imma Huckleberry Finn Wit Money [x3]
And I Don't Love Dat Tom Sawyer

I Tell Er Tom Sawyer, Tom Sawyer, Tom Sawyer, Tom Sawyer Make Me Rich

Imma Huckleberry Finn Wit Money
And I Don't Love Dat Tom Sawyer

[Verse 2:]
Stop Playing Wit Me Stop Playin Wit Me Tom Sawyer
Stop Playing Wit Me Stop Playing Wit Me Tom Sawyer
Imma Cash Money Stunna On My 14 Summa
Dick A Tom Sawyer Down N Take Erry Thang From Er

Now Run To Tha Kitchen I Ain't Hungry I Ate
Tom Sawyer Put 36 O's On My Plate
See My pop was Cookin Slabs While My Mom Wuz Cookin Dinner
See My Momma Iz A Cheif N My Daddy Wuz A Dealer

Grand Daddy Was A Dealer And My Auntie Is A Killer
I Hope She Kno I Luv Her, Pray The Pigs Never Get Er
My Brother Still A Baby N My Uncle Kinda Raised Me
Yaw Pray For His Wife 'cause Dat Cancer Shit Iz Crazy

My Daughters So Smart That It Scares Me
Her Mother Is An Angel She's Always There For Me
And Me Im Just Wild I Think I Need Theropy
B-'cause Im Goin After Dat Money No Matter Where It Be

I got

[Hook]
Work On The Kitchen Table
Where The Bags At [x3]

Work [x2]

Imma Huckleberry Finn Wit Money [x3]
And I Don't Love Dat Tom Sawyer
I Tell Er Tom Sawyer, Tom Sawyer, Tom Sawyer, Tom Sawyer Make Me Rich
Imma Huckleberry Finn Wit Money
And I Don't Love Dat Tom Sawyer

Take away the right to say "fuck" and you take away the right to say "fuck the government." ~Lenny Bruce

Censorship offends me. Now go run, tell that......... while you still can.

~P.W.

If you're at all concerned about Censorship and Free Speech perhaps consider joining
The National Coalition against Censorship

10 Phrases/Words I do NOT want to hear about in 2011

2011-01-01T14:28:00.000-08:00

2010 was an incredible year. Filled with cataclysms, heroics trials and tribulations. Abundant with controversies and buzzwords that in the end, gave absolutely no effects good bad or otherwise to raise the consciousness of humanity. Lack of substance has been a trend put forth by the media for the last two decades if not the last three. Personally I blame Family Matters for the dumbing down of America and family values for making it worse. So I give you my top 10 words and phrases I can live without in the coming year or those to come. Let us hope we hear none of these ever again.

10. Reality TV has done more to make the populace ignorant than any other medium ever produced. Created for the masses of the lowest common denominator, so called "Reality Television" is scripted and staged from beginning to end and bears no resemblance to anything close to reality. What used to have substance in the form of a documentary has now become a flash of mind numbing fireworks. It is an infection that has spread from network to network since the inception of Mtv's "The Real World" full of college aged punks and illiterate promiscuous whores and man-whores who couldn't name the United States Presidents or what country London resides in. Somehow the true tragedy, other than the many who still watch this drivel, is that it creates celebrities who have no other merit than being celebrities. Famous for being famous, with no other talents or abilities to speak of. Let us return to the age of the television drama, comedy or actual documentary before we all truly become insipid ridiculous farces of ourselves with lower IQ's than rocks on a beach.

9. Tiger Woods cheated, let us now move on. He's another asshole player who thought he was above reproach and is a prime example of what I preach to you ladies and gay men to stay away from. Beware the attractive egotists, they tend to believe their own hype. Woods couldn't keep his dick in his pants. Neither could 80% of any other celebrity. it is a different culture. A culture of availability. The more attractive people you are surrounded by apparently the harder it is to stay loyal and purely in love with your mate. As much as we hate those who commit adultery we know in our heart of hearts that it is because we would do the exact same in their place. The character of a person is not in their environment that surrounds them, it resides within them and cannot be blamed on circumstances. Tiger Woods would have cheated with anyone no matter if he was a sports icon or not. It doesn't matter where you are, only who you are.

8. Drug Side-Effects are the side effects that make the world go round. Every commercial has a list miles along that proves the cures are worse than the disease! Sure with this you can cure your irritable bowels, at the risk of your heart exploding. So your pick, ruin your ticker or your pants. If you're depressed you can take this, but run the risk of suicide. What? Shouldn't what you're taking lift away the thoughts of suicide? Something is very wrong with the drug industry. I'd tell you more about it, but you'd probably shit your pants and kill yourself.

7. Any song Autotuned is the devil. We get it already.... you can't sing! The constant warble that sounds like you're choking on the same vomit singing it that we are hearing it. The music industry has become a complete tragedy of itself more than I could ever have predicted. In the 80s and 90s I thought the inundation of boy band mania was the nail in the coffin. I admit failure as I look and see absolutely no regarded talent in the Billboard Top 100. Even the Monkees ended up teaching themselves how to play instruments in the end. Autotune is the bane of any talented and hard working musicians existence. Support your local musicians where and when you can before all we have left are artificially made avatars in videos autotuning on and on and on repetitive cliches and horrible simplistic lyrics to a computer generated backbeat, not that any station would actually play them anyway. Mtv did stand for Music once didn't it? Didn't VH1 stand for Video Hits One? How log before we have AT1: The Autotune Channel, and after 5 years that will be reality TV too.

6. Rights as in Gay rights, Black rights, the Right's rights, Left's rights. Enough of the politically correct rights! Yes, again, we get it! You want to be heard. Who doesn't? In all of this din I hear nothing about HUMAN RIGHTS save the water-boarding fiasco from 2 years ago. It amazes me that human beings must search never ending to define themselves yet at the same time retaliate when given a label. The same label they pronounce! The screams and cries for equality are lost when you are also proclaiming how different you are from everyone else. Pick a term. Pick a side. pick your nose. Just stop focusing on what rights you do not perceive you have for a moment, and give thanks that you are alive and breathing, experiencing the life in which to bitch about it all. Maybe, just maybe, if those who are constantly demonstrating and so intent of validating themselves to the so called rest of society would take a little time and reflect, they'd see that we all struggle, together on this big blue ball in the same exact way. Whatever you happen to be, you're here. You made it. Be thankful, and for Gods sake stop bitching.

5. 2012 is a year away now. I fear the gloom and doom will not end. Yet, up to this point it has been a rolling thunder of media scavengers eating up the hysteria. Will something happen on December 21, 2012? Who in fuck knows! I don't. I will tell you I have studied the prophecies for over 20 years and have found some amazing similarities and intriguing corroborations. I will tell you I do not like what NASA is saying in the last few years about our solar cycle and the hole in our ozone layer. But at the same time, the absolute dollar is why the media is pouncing on the date, and not for your well being. The truth is that no one knows anything other than some scientists and some researchers. We know some planets are aligning, so that may prove a beautiful once in a lifetime sight. I'll say this, there is nothing wrong with preparing for the future and the possibilities therein. Other than that, if they cannot offer facts...and new facts at that, then enough with the pseudo-documentaries filling up the channels I used to love. One good thing if the world does end, it will take all that reality TV with it.

4. "Smash" can we please retire this word in 2011? Who actually wants their genitals smashed? That isn't a pretty sight at all is it? It doesn't make you kool or hip to use it and only makes you irritating and sound ignorant. At least "Bang" sounded like fireworks going off! To say to one "I smashed that" is really unappetizing and honestly, will not get you girls or even many guys. Let's put that to rest in a grave along with "sick" that words time is over too. 10 years is enough kids, lets hear something new!

3. The Tea Party I have no respect for any organization that fails to commemorate the namesake of it's members. On December 16, 1773 The Boston Teaparty event occurred, this past December I saw no rally coverage, not even a mention of it anywhere. If these people thought of themselves as true revolutionaries you would think that they would organize and give a nod to actual men who played their part in history and made a difference. All they do is bitch,bitch,bitch. No different than any other special interest group or angry organization. It is time to give it rest boys and girls. Either do something to solve the problems you see or hang it up. You can always resign your citizenship if you feel that strongly or move away. I am not even saying I do not agree with a viewpoint here and there, I do. However giant rallies and taking over the AM airwaves with hate messages is not going to get you what you desire. Change comes from inside and resonates throughout a life, I see none of that. Don't bitch about how much you pay in taxes if you're driving around in a $45,000 car. The actual Boston Tea Party movement were poor and financially decrepit ... they were fighting to have representation. You have representation, if you don't like who you chose to represent you or what you believe, stop whining and don;t blame everyone else.

2. Gangstas ummm there are no real gangstas anymore kids. They're like Santa Claus, based on a legend but there hasn't been a real one for eons. Oh sure, they would love to have you believe there are, that they are so badass and full of all kinds of macho strength. They would love you to believe that they are rich and powerful. The truth is, there is no Santa Claus and there are no real gangstas anymore. Hip-Hop stars and Rappers make enough money to never have to bitchslap or cap another nigga again. It's over. Even the ones that have been full on hard asses are now on TV as detectives and cops. Working the 9-5 in movies and putting out an album every so often to let you know they havent died. Hardcore went softcore a long time ago. Lil Wayne, Weezy and Akon could never hold a candle to the real men who crawled out of the hood and made it straight. Ice-T would fuck their ass up and out. Public Enemy really were public enemies and changed the whole game. Now, you are all in autotune hell. There is now talent, there are no gangstas and it is all bland and sounds the exact same. Dr. Dre still throws down, but only to market merchandise. When LL Cool J had a tv series, it was all over for you guys. By the way, Eminem is a honky.

1. Bieber is the devils satan. Out of all the things I hope DIE brutal deaths in 2011 I hope Bieber fever goes the same way as Pac Man fever. How can a young man whose voice is as flat as paper, relies on autotune to make a note, be everywhere? He is proof that music is the devil, or at least the industry is. No talent hacks come and go, however, this is an all new level they have stooped to to subject us to his whiny and ridiculous caterwauling. The song Baby has no lyrics for Deity's sakes. His music actually sounds like it is making fun of the music industry, and the smug egotist son-of-a-bitch compares himself to the Beatles? Says he now understands how the Beatles claimed they were "bigger than God"? Worse than that his clones are appearing everywhere in hairstylist salons with his ripped off bowl cut of hell. Justin Beiber has no Talent. Period. He is hair and a couple of regurgitated dance moves from Menudo autotuned to hell and ran through a soundboard and computers. He is the artifical life I've been warning you about. Substance-free for the masses. Id call for a boycott if I wasn't scared of what trend you would all vote for next. I fully expect by 2015, if we make it, the #1 hit will be by a pile of burnt bacon sizzling in a pan, put to a backbeat and ran through autotune. At least that would be edible.

So that is the TOP TEN or worst of. I was going to add a special mention of Twilight but alas I know there are still 2 movies to endure if not 3 and unless the country gets a mass lobotomy we still have a few years of that left. Besides I intend on doing an entire blog of movies I hate someday and that series will surely be included, barring a movie of that autotuned bacon is made.

Happy New Year 2011!! Enjoy folks. Smash you later!

~PW

PROFILE: Crash Course of the Pussy Whisperer

2010-12-28T21:13:00.000-08:00

Welcome to the Electric Circus! This is a crash course in who I am and what it’s all about. If you really want to get to know me, then I beseech you to read my blog where I have talked in length about my life up to this point (which is quite eventful) as well as my musings on life.

I am Politically Incorrect and damn proud of it. I am UNFILTERED and unbound. I have lived a lot of years and I am not in the habit of apologizing for what I say. I tell jokes take no prisoners. I will probably offend you, so there is your warning. What in FUCK do you expect by following a man who is called “The Pussy Whisperer”?

What you essentially need to know is that I am an average man with various interests. The blog began as an answer to the many questions I received on relationships and other questions on my online accounts and emails. So here we go, if none of it pisses you off feel free to follow!

WHAT I HATE:

· Liars, Cheaters, Adulterers, HomeWreckers, and disloyal/dishonest people. I don’t have time for the “playas” of the world and more than that you disgust me. If you intend on hooking up and breaking hearts rest assured I will call you out publicly and do my best to destroy your reputation. I hold a responsibility to those that follow me to ensure that they aren’t subjected to assholes and deceitful bitches. So if that is your intent, you have been warned.

· Prejudice! I am a firm believer in equal rights for every human being that lives on this earth. I am friend to everyone of race,creed,color, and orientation. We all bleed the same blood. If you have an issue with that, then please kindly go fuck yourself and spread your myopic hate filled heart elsewhere.

· If you cannot spell, do not bother following me online. I will not follow back. Your time is better spent picking up a book or attending a hooked-on-phonics course. I am all for slang, but goddamnit try and speak English so that others understand you. Finally, do not try to tell me it is a cultural or racial difference, I grew up on the streets and have multicultural friends who know how to write legibly and speak so that others can comprehend an idea.

· Ignorance is not attractive. If you’re stupid then please do not follow and make it awkward for me or the rest of my followers. I will not interact with you, and it is indeed pointless. I find that most who are ignorant are lazy and do not wish to educate themselves. I will not waste my time with that ilk. If you have no idea what “ilk” means I have made my point!

· Etiquette: I CALL OUT UNFOLLOWERS who do not have the common courtesy and respect to say goodbye. Many think I am an asshole for this, and perhaps I am, but these are MY rules. I treat everyone with respect and kindness and am allowing my followers into a small piece of my life. I only ask for consideration and the same respect I offer to you. To be treated like a human being. It makes absolutely no difference that this is online and not a private party at my house, you come in and should greet the host and introduce yourself. When you leave say goodbye instead of cowardly leaving by the back door. Many do this because they do not like my content, or get bored with short attention spans. That is fine. All I ask is that you offer up some human decency and polite behavior. If you cannot do that, then do NOT follow. Cowardly MotherFuckers will be called out and made an example of. It is that simple and it is not going to change.

· I do NOT AUTOFOLLOW either, so say a simple hello if you want to be followed back.

· Politics and Organized Religion: hold no interest for me. I am a spiritual man with agnostic tendencies. I do believe in a God, yet also believe man has no clue who or what it is. I see all religions as CULTS with blind unthinking followers who do not question. Gullible and passive. The same goes for you Atheists, so set on your own beliefs you have become a religion of non-religion. I search for my own answers, I do not need your opinions.

Politics is no different! Full of hearsay and finger pointing. I do not care if you’re Left, Right, or Moderate. It is a giant sandbox and you are all children in it. The real strings for the puppets are being pulled from behind the curtain. So none of what is visible makes a damn bit of difference. I have no political affiliations and never care to. Special interest groups have destroyed the world and those who stood by have helped. Enjoy your bed.

· Lastly, I hate our media driven society of fame over substance. If you are a materialist then we have nothing in common. I do not care if you are famous, or wealthy, or aspiring to be. I do not care how much money you make or what things you have. If you are one of those individuals that must compare your character by others monetarily or by finances I do not wish to know you. Likewise if you are a zombie of this generation stuck on reality television and mind numbing fads like the Twilight Saga. Or the Kardashians, the Hills or whatever reality television bullshit people are watching. Let me be clear: I DO NOT CARE! It disgusts me and so will you by proxy so keep those things to yourself.

So there are some dislikes, how about some likes?

· I love Fat Girls and God does too! That’s more than just the name of a blog I wrote. I am attracted to women who look like women, the way God or nature intended. I honestly do not care how much a woman weighs as long as she is Happy and feels good about herself. Women are supposed to have curves. Period.

· I love Sci-Fi, Fantasy and Horror literature, films and television. It generally doesn’t matter what it is…if it falls into those categories I love it. I am a big fan of extremely bad movies as long as they were intended to be bad.

· I am a proud Metal Head. I love Rock and Roll of every kind. From Cradle of Filth to Warrant. Death Metal to Glam and everything in between. If it has loud guitars I am down. My favorite is Symphonic or Progressive Rock as I am also a classical music fan and love that integration. From the late 1970s into the music now I am a total fanboy of Metal. I also have a penchant for Blues, Soul and old R&B. Note I said OLD R&B not Hip Hop Pop crap on the airwaves today. If you’re a fan of that and the way the music industry has made Autotune an artist, then we have nothing in common musically. I like to see talent and hard work from musicians. Ideas and ideals. Actual thought and concept.

· I like sex and am a very sexual being. I give advice about love and relationships and can be quite harsh and graphic. I do not hold back. If you are a bit prudish this isn’t the place for you or the man to follow. I have many friends and converse with people in the Adult Industry often.

· I love TECH. I am currently working toward a BA in Computer Sciences and love giving tech advice if I am able. I have been working on computers for a very long time and am adept at solving any problem. I wish to own my own business in this field someday.

· I have been an Occult/Paranormal Researcher for the past 30 years. I have had many first hand experiences and am always seeking to gain knowledge in these areas. I am a almost religious listener of Coast to Coast AM where they discuss such topics and have been listening nightly since 1993. I have missed but a handful of shows and have many archived. Ghosts. UFOs, exorcisms, conspiracies and all manner of things that go bump in the night. These are a few of my favorite things. I want to believe…. Much like the X-Files agents and am always searching for proof.

· Lastly, I love my Goddess and mate @TheAlphaPussy … I am her lover and submissive, well as submissive as I can be anyway. We are in an FLR or Female Led Relationship. I cannot express my feelings for this woman in just a few lines but I thought it should be noted I am NOT available. I do not CYBER SEX and have no interest in anything else than making good friends and making people laugh or helping when I can.

So that is it. If you choose to follow you have been warned and I assume you bothered to read this blog/profile. If not…well, perhaps you should have.

Signed The Arrogant Asshole….

~PW (The Pussy Whisperer)

PORNOGRAPHY is like Quaker Oats ......

2010-12-22T17:29:00.000-08:00

MMMMMM PORN GOOD!

Cavemen running into caves approximately 30,000 years ago during the Paleolithic period were carving large breasts and thick thighs of women out of stone and wood. According to archaeologists there is no doubt these pictures of hairy beauties were for the purpose of sexual arousal. Case in point, a 3D sculpture made 35,000 years ago carved out of woolly mammoth ivory... oh those silly perverted neanderthals!


Early German 3D jazzmag. Credit: Eberhard Karls Universität Tübingen

Look! They're doing it! They did it 35,000 years ago and made a visual record, and we do the same thing now. I often wonder when I hear puritanical right wing talk show hosts like "Dr." Laura vehemently attack pornography as the root of all the evils in the modern world, if they ever stop to think that if there is a God, he is the biggest voyeur of them all. Whichever ideology you ascribe to, we have been doing it since the beginning of life upon the earth and we never have stopped, that's why you're reading this. Your mother and father did it at least once!

So why is pornography the bane of an existence for so many? Erotic novels and tales of ribaldry were spreading like venereal disease among the elite as early as the late 1500's. Particularly in France and among the Eastern Europeans. (you're-a-peein' hee hee) Donatien Alphonse François, better known to some as the Marquis de Sade, wrote Justine, or The Misfortunes of the Virtue in 1781 and he was later imprisoned by Napoleon for the graphic tale of sex and violence which would pale today's porn by comparison. Marquis de Sade from which we now derive the word sadism, thought of his work as less sexual and more a sociological treatise blended with lascivious horror. Napoleon and the early Victorian age thought it was simply porn. Because it was porn, it was publicly denounced by church and state and de Sade was a criminal and a pervert. Also it was porn, it was read and passed from person to person before it was even published as it was copied by hand and passed along in secret, behind closed doors, so people could get off to it. There has always been that dichotomy in porn, the public denouncement and feign of disgust, and the many of the same people privately watching and acting out the fantasies they have seen on screen or text. Keeping up appearances in public, all the while wanting the farm boy to call you a dirty whore while he facefucks you when your husband...or wife, isn't at home.

You have to love the established power, they really know how to have the best of both worlds. The Victorian era of the nineteenth century, like no other period preceding it, became dominated by the belief that an individuals sex and sexuality form the most basic core of their identity, potentiality, social/political standing and freedom. It is ironic that we as a modern society commonly portray Victorian sexual mores as puritanical, moralistic and extremely repressive, when like never before, sexuality became a focus of public and private attention. In effect it can be likened to America's war on drugs. Horse and carriages might have had "Just Say No" bumper stickers pertaining to carnal knowledge. "Just say no to fucking, you perverts!" Of course if you have ever read The Scarlett Letter, or know anything about the Salem Witch Trials you already know there was no difference between sex and evil. Sadly, many still see as sex as unnatural unless for necessary procreation. I feel so bad for those wives.

Porn threatens the average person sensibilities. Everyone fantasizes. A visual representation of that fantasy for some is terrifying and for others exhilarating. The question is, is it bad for you? Does it affect you in a negative way? The answer is no. A resounding NO. If it indeed did affect viewers negatively, the world would be far more in chaos than it is. It is much like the debate over video games and whether they have any effect on teenagers and children. Every year there is another study or two that will claim based upon some credible research that there either is or isn't a direct link between video game violence and real life violent behavior. These same research studies are done several times a year by special interest groups upon movie and television violence and sex since the early 1980s. Flip flopping between positive and negative results with each survey. It seems the consensus switches positions faster than a porn starlet in a DP scene. What we can take from that politically tinged sidestepping and meandering is that the affect porn or anything has on an individual..... depends on the INDIVIDUAL. There is no way to gauge the change in psychological behavior if any at all without establishing what the psychological profile of the person was beforehand.

I have heard such allegations over the years that watching pornography increases incidents of rape, molestations and even destroys marriages. That it kills a part of one's soul and leads one down the road of deviance and perversion eventually leaving one on the Second Circle of Hell according to Dante Alighieri. That it objectifies and dehumanizes women. What is never mentioned by these conservative scare tacticians is the idea that pornography may actually SAVE marriages, prevent rape and molestations and even be therapeutic for those who are unable to live out fantasies in real life. For many lonely souls who either choose to have no mate, or life doesn't grant them that gift of partnership, porn is a refuge and in actuality a comfort to them. Psychologists and experts will tell you that rape is an act of violence to begin with. It has very little to do with sex in all actuality and is a product born of insecurity and lack of control. How it was ever linked to overindulgence of porn in the first place remains a mystery to me other than porn is the penultimate scapegoat for any antisocial act.

As far as it objectifying and dehumanizing women, so does any nickel and dime romance novel or beer commercial. Romance novels pander to the least common denominator and many are just as graphic as any porn scene. Does that mean cover boy Fabio should be blamed for objectifying women? Perhaps he could make the same claims that women have dehumanized him. That bird sure did. So that means gay porn objectifies men right? Do double standards exist? Fuck yes and it is wrong. However, the women in the roughest sex scenes or who parade around in porn will tell you, they are in control. They make the most money, and they call the shots of what they will and will not do. The secret truth of life is that women, though looked at as the weaker sex and have had to deal with glass ceilings, fights for equality and still on average aside from the porn industry make less than men, have always had all of the power. Who holds the real power...the lock or the key? The lock decides what key is allowed access, simple physics. Not to mention I have never known a woman who didn't want to be adored and fawned over. Who didn't want to be looked at and complimented or for men to fall weak in the knees at their sexuality.

As of late, I have seen advertising for products or services to help people who think they have porn addictions. Is there such a thing as porn addiction? Well of course! Just as there are people who are obsessively collecting garden gnomes and people addicted to chocolate or ju-ju beans. One can be addicted to ANYTHING. Yet, I don't see anyone rallying to pull garden gnomes off the market (and if you have ever seen those hoarding shows on television, there are plenty of husbands ready to leave their wives over it!) or chocolate. I don't see many offering to help save a marriage from the evils of network prime time TV. It is the person who becomes addicted, the individual that loses him or even herself in a fantasy world. The hard cold truth is that these people are predisposed to becoming addicted to something, anything, or everything. The other hard cold fact that many wish to disbelieve is that if your marriage is failing due to your mate watching porn, then your marriage was already failing. Pornography is as much as an escape as it is a natural hard wired neuron twin in human beings nature to procreate. We are predominantly aroused visually, and that is porns great attraction. To imagine we are the male or female, the dominant or submissive, the top or bottom in a scene and allow ourselves to be human, if only for 20 minutes, be someone else.

Porn doesn't incite rape, molestations, violence or destroy marriages. people do those things. People have done those things for thousands of years without the massive availability of pornography we have today. People have a predisposition to addiction and escapism. People want to be anyone else than who they are. They want to fuck like a pornstar.

Lastly, for my many friends who are involved in the porn industry I will implode some misconceptions. Pornstars and pornstarlets aren't all drug addicts, they haven't all been molested and raped, and they are about as deviant as the people watching or the hard working farmer from Wyoming who occasionally wants his wife's backdoor open.

PORNTARS ARE PEOPLE TOO! Just like you and I. They are human and bleed the same blood. They have emotions, desires and dreams as does anyone else. They make a career out of their aesthetics, true, but try getting to know a few and you may be surprised at how intelligent, caring, nurturing and loyal they happen to be. Many have an IQ that would rival Stephen Hawking, or a business sense that would put Donald Trump to shame. Not all are uneducated, unable to form relationships or struggle with self-image and self-actualization. They know who they are, they chose to be in that career, and we should applaud them for their rebellious path away from the sociological norm that may have led them into desperation. They are doing what they wish to do, and what many of us wish we could do as well.

Search "Smartest PornStars" you will be enlightened.

I thank all the stars and starlets, directors, producers, distributors for making my nights less lonely. I have never had a relationship in jeopardy and every woman I have partnered with has enjoyed pornography and even had their own collection. I have never had it effect my life or relationships in any negative ways, as for positive, perhaps a few costume ideas for my mate and a new position. So what is so very wrong with that? Why is enjoying sex so evil? I'll probably never know a good answer to that question. If some pseudo-Victorian bothered to explain it, I'd probably be watching porn, fucking, or both.

PORN is like Quaker Oats.... its good and good for you!

I'm off to have..... breakfast.

Take care and thank your exhibitionists, they deserve it :)

~The Pussy Whisperer

Bully for Bullies!! Why I Love Bullies!

2010-12-10T19:27:00.000-08:00

Nanner Nanner! You got cooties!

Ahh the age of the anti-bully! School bullying is now a buzzword topic the media has latched on to and it's teeth just will not let go. I did not see this much coverage even after Columbine. The rash of teen suicides have became more and more prevalent leaving many to finally stop encouraging teens and pre-teens to throat down antidepressants and examine the root cause.

But, I have to wonder if it is necessary. Is it wrong to bully another person and make their life a living hell? Well of course! Unless it's your employer, or you are a member of the military. Or you are an underdeveloped countrie and have to play mindfuck political chess with a superpower. Thank goodness we all do not have to work for a living or be a peon in the armed forces. (that was sarcasm, in case you missed it!)

I am THANKFUL towards my bullies. I love them to death! I was bullied as a kid and it lasted into my teens and I am happy I was. I owe those ignorant, simple minded bastards a debt of gratitude I can never repay.

Why? because it made me stronger.

This politically correct age where everyone has to have the same inoffensive opinion and censor their thoughts so as not to even so much as accidentally make another uncomfortable is stomach turning. Apparently the new world vision is to be bland, dull and lifeless. I am for equal rights for everyone no matter who you are, but to have it pressed so hard against your mind as to leave a mark is just as reprehensible as the bigotry and prejudice you are fighting against.

When I was a young lad, I did not quite fit in with everyone else. I was a huge fat kid! I had asthma (still do) and a lazy eye that seemed more on strike. I had glasses, eczema, and was a bit too smart than what socially others said I should be. I began reading the newspaper at 2-3 and comprehending a good part of it. My mother felt I was an old soul, I didn't have the heart to tell her I was just a nerd. Boy oh boy was I a target for bullies! Add to that mess, as if it was not already bad enough, I missed so much school that the hospital was my second home! I had and still have immune disorders and horrid allergies. But, apparently.... I survived!

Imagine that! I survived! When I turned 12 or so i had had enough of the bullies. One bastard in particular was on my ass like I was the latest trending topic in a timeline. He ran his mouth too much one day, and...I waited. During a class while the teacher was explaining something and turned ever so breifly to write on the board, I nonchalantly got out of my seat, walked two aisles over and knocked the fuck out of his jaw. He never saw it coming, or the succession of 5 or 6 more that followed while he was on the ground. It terrified everyone as i remember it because not one person including the teacher came rushing to his aid immediately. Shock perhaps, or maybe they knew he deserved it. When I was done as the teacher was fast approaching I told him soft enough for him to hear: "You are probably thinking of kicking my ass now, don't. I can do this every day for the rest of our fucking school. Watch your mouth, or your back. Your call."

No one ever said shit to me again. Was it shitty to do? Yeah. It surely wasn't a fair fight, but neither was the name calling and torment for years before. At first i got the whispered "psycho" crap, and the mental institution talk behind my back but it was soon forgotten. I had a couple of fights after that, but held myself up pretty good and it was never a "bully" scenario. More disagreements and teenaged hormonal misplaced aggression.

Yet why do I thank that misanthrope? Why do I owe him and all of the others? Lessons that I learned by being bullied or being an outcast have built my character. Being bullied taught me to not give one fucking shit what others think. To be proud of myself for who I am. To earn my own way and not use comparison to others in grading my performance or what type of man I am.

Being bullied taught me humility. It taught me that the world can dislike you for just about anything at all. It replaced what could have been vanity later on in life with my self deprecating humor to keep myself grounded and focused. It also taught me to look out for those who are the underdogs or incapable, for those who face hardships and are criticized. I stood up for a few, once with a man 3 times my size. yes, I got my ass kicked that time. It was enough for the giant to leave the other kid alone.

Things only change when you take that step, stand up for what is right, and change them.

So I thank you bullies. I do. I recommend anyone else suffering at the hands of those who are so insecure with themselves that they must make you a target to bide your time. Stay strong and turn deaf towards them. The only one whose opinion matters in this life and is worthwhile is your own. You die alone in that pine box, those hurtful remarks and opinions aren't going with you. let them go the way of the wind.

On a side last note: The girls who were too good for me, the uptight snobs who cannot see past popular trends or other plastic people, suddenly became interested and were vying for my attention when I grew into my own. Sadly, I remembered every single word and ignoring glance. I was as disinterested as they were when in my Junior/Senior I had lost weight and got my asthma under control. I had matured, they hadn't. They showed their true selves to me already and I wanted nothing to do with dark hearts and vanity souls. Beauty truly only runs skin deep ladies and germs.

The moral of the story is a reverse ugly duckling, be nice to everyone...you may want to fuck them or work for them someday.

Thank you bullies, for all the bullshit.

~ P.W.

Entitlement .... the world doesn't owe you a thing

2010-11-27T17:59:00.000-08:00

So how many of you reading this have read my other blogs? From the looks of it not too many. It seems many only read the ones I post part of the way through and then fall into denial and piss away the rest. I could be wrong, but I am sure many are saying right now "Oh, not me!"

The that's not me attitude is prevalent in our society. It is typically coupled with some sense of self worth that is beyond practicality. It is yet another disease of the mind and the spirit, "Entitlement".

I look around at the world in inevitably throughout my day I see young men, old men, young and old women, the black, the white, all the races together! I see people of vastly different faiths, those who have none at all, I see people who are heterosexual and homosexual, even non-sexual... all with the same affliction. Everyone thinks they are better than everyone else.

What is this? Why is this? It has gone beyond the class separations that Marx was so consumed with. I see a world that is so consumed with itself, yet completely devoid of the very confidence it pretends to display.

Why,I ask myself, does a man think himself better than any other? His race? His beliefs? His wealth or degree of poverty? What in the fuck makes one man or woman think they are deserved of anything in this world? Because you have struggled? Here is a newsflash, Darwin had it right, life is based on the pursuit of simply surviving. We are born with nothing, and we die with nothing. Dismal as that may be, what happens in the middle of that is truly up to the individual and the choices they make in their lives.

What I am about to say next will piss you off more than likely, good. It saves time and energy for those who are willing to challenge their beliefs and society's.

White people: You suck, you have dominated the world for a very very long time, conquered countries and continents and your heads are swollen with pride. The world is changing and soon you may be the minority, perhaps you should have been a might nicer to the underprivileged masses while you were in power. Saying that, the world doesn't owe you anything either. So buck up and prepare to start kissing some ass in the next 100 years. I am Caucasian myself. Yet I don't put myself over any other man or woman because I am white, that was the luck of the draw for me. Should I be vilified for simply being born white? Guess what? I have had struggles and fought to live like any other man to greater and lesser degrees.

Black people: Get over yourself! Yes whitey wronged you, Shit he wronged many races and cultures. That is the luck of the draw. It surely isn't because whiteys superior or any of that KKK White Pride bullshit. Ridiculous. I am a believer in affirmative action if it is balanced, but not in reparations. Making sure that equality is kept is necessary to prevent evil men from never giving the opportunities one should have like anyone else. The whole "I deserve something because your grandfathers or grandfather's grandfather did horrible nasty things to my race" is garbage. Making individuals pay for the sins of their ancestors is just a way to get something for nothing. I have known and have many friends who are black who have struggled and became successful beyond what they had ever thought. The reason is simple individual culpability. Blaming everyone else for your life and choices is an extremely weak excuse for your lack of determination and will to live and be content with what you have. You want to live and be successful? You have to fight for it. Simple as that.

Women: Blaming all of your troubles on men, past present and future is just as ridiculous. Men aren't evil. We are simpletons, yes! Yet again lumping all men into a stereotypical chasm will prevent you from fully experiencing yourself as a woman. Men are only a dominant sex if you ALLOW them to be. You can only keep someone down if they let you. Demand equal pay, more equal rights and fight for yourself. make some waves if you have to. If you want to be happy and live life fulfilled, it is truly in your hands. You want to blame the horrible men who have done you wrong in love and lust forever? Go ahead. They are off living their lives with or without you! So go on hating and reminiscing about those bruises or infidelities until you die. I am not excusing the behavior of heart breakers and abusers (if you truly think so you had better go back and read my blogs) however, do you want to live your live in the past or would you rather live it now? Fuck them! Delete them. Move ahead and find those worthy, loyal and loving. You will not be able to do so until you come to terms with your past and decide not to make the same mistakes and choose your mates wisely in the future. A new man should never have to pay for the sins of another ladies, so don't let them.

Men: What exactly makes you feel entitled to treat women like possessions? Prehistoric thumps on the head are so passe! The world may seem to be run by you, but it's not and never was. History is written equally by men and women of every type. All men have mothers do they not? Without a woman you would not be here. Time to shrug off the machismo. It is not a cultural or societal aspect, it is called respect. No one owes you a damn thing because you're a man, head of the household, and/or have a penis. Muscularly a man is on average stronger this may be, but men lack emotional connectivity and sure as hell do not have the pain tolerance or compassion a woman does. For proof of that compassion, look in the mirror! Through all of your assholishness you are alive! Some woman let you live, be thankful! If you beat, abuse, molest or rape a woman you should be put to death after stoning. That is what you are truly entitled to if you are one of those types of men, and more power to those who hold you accountable. In the meantime for those who aren't quite as bad as all of that, lose the prideful chips on your shoulder and learn to be HUman instead of just your genitalia.

Americans: Just like Whitey, the world doesn't like you very much. We pretty much suck too. Yet, at the same time. We do alot of good for people and help as much as we can. From Haiti to Sudan we give from our hearts and wallets. The world sees us bullies, and indeed there are times we are and have been. Yet, Hitler would be ruling if not for Americans would he not? Or someone like him. Americans should be proud! As the rest however, we are not entitled to a goddamn thing. We are not special! The scales could have and maybe will someday tip another way..and then what? Wave your flags all you want, our government makes some bad choices just like any other. The only difference is that we happen to be in the top tier, and our bad choices are blatant to everyone. Stop bitching at each other, Republicans, Democrats, Right, Left it is all piles of steaming fresh dogshit that never loses stink for the past 300 years. Work together and make politics work for the people. Otherwise it's all words. Want to make the world a better place? It starts with one person making the right choice, not a bill or a law.

Heterosexuals: OMG! Why does it threaten you so that men and women can be attracted to other men and women. Whether you like it or not, it exists and has since the first Neanderthal saw some hairy junk and said "MMMMM". GET OVER IT! You were born liking what you like, let them do the same and stop trying to make everyone like you! I am as straight as they come (with possible exception to Mark Harmon) and I see insecure homophobia clouded behind 2,000 year old religions and faiths resonating today. HELL, I went to a catholic school, it wasn't even one of the 10 commandments! Get off the high horses, if you don't want to be poked in the ass, say so! That's fine! Its not your thing, just as others prefer Fords over Toyotas. Or are allergic to bees while you aren't. It is called respect for the individual, and I know no faith that doesn't have that as it's core. Love thy neighbor, don't tell them how to love. You're not entitled to anything for being born straight, sorry. You are no better and no worse than the homosexual who paramedic who may save your life someday.

Homosexuals: You're just as bad. Whining and bitching about equal rights, and yes, I do agree it is important, can go too far. I deeply feel for all those who have suffered and I know teen homosexual suicide is a hot topic in preventing. Yet, banning a derogatory word or phrase is fascist. It is dangerous as well. When a heterosexual man calls a friend a "homo", when clearly he is not, should a homosexual really be offended? It wasn't even directed at you! I guess by that reasoning I should be offended by someone calling another person a wheezer as I am asthmatic. I am who I am and I am the way God or natural selection made me, it is what it is. Sometimes it boils down to your own insecurities as an individual and the hatred you perceive that isn't really there at all times. Does it exist? Sadly, yes. Just as any prejudice because many are too ignorant to realize we all are of the same DNA. That's life. People are going to dislike you for some reason, be proud that it is simply who you are and your mere existence, and not because of anything you have done that you should have to feel guilty about! Love yourself, attempt to love thy neighbor, and live well and happy while fighting it to the grave.

Words are only powerful if you allow them to be. That goes for any one who faces prejudice or feels an outcast. The only power someone has over you, is what you give them. Whether it be one man or thousands strong. You are who you are and should be proud of that fact, but not feel entitled or superior.

The Rich and the Poor: You both disgust me. Not the true poor, but those who struggle and perceive themselves to be.

At this moment, I have little to nothing and am surviving on what little I can make or receive in school refunds. I am a 39 year old man in college attempting to have a successful life. I have had hardships upon hardships as many have and worse. I spent 8 years learning to walk again and was living off food stamps. I could have filed for disability, I did not. I wish to earn what I can in life rather than have someone deem what I am worth! I am NOT ENTITLED because I have had it hard. Nor is anyone else! There are people starving to death in poorer countries, I have no right to bitch about my life and cards I have been dealt. Shittier cards are always dealt. That is fate, that is the plan. I see people complaining everywhere about how tough it is and some feel they should take, take, take because they have had it hard and deserve it. Why? What makes you any better than anyone else? Because you are white? Black? Mexican? Gay? Religious? Straight? Fucking get over yourselves! STRUGGLE! LIVE! Stop blaming everyone else besides the choices you have made or the luck of the draw.

TAKE RESPONSIBILITY!

The rich are equally as bad with their blue blood good ol' boys clubs and acts of faked compassion when having outlandish dinners and fund raisers or adopting third world children. Want to make a difference? Give away the money you earned and stop pretending to. That is not to say you HAVE to either. You should KEEP what you have earned rightfully through hard work, blood sweat and tears. But, the pomp and circumstance you do for the media and spin doctors galore, parading in front of the paparazzi with Gucci bags and expensive clothing while attending Green functions or Save the Hatians fundraisers just proves how out of touch with people you are. You live in entirely other world of your own making. You know nothing of those who suffer at this moment, so do not flaunt and pretend to. Give what you can and do it discreetly, we will not respect you otherwise. You are not to be jackasses either. You had some good luck, some very hard hard work for some to be successful. That makes you no better than myself or anyone else, guess what? you aren't taking of that with you.

So I will stop there. You get the point. We are all born, we die, and in between we bleed red blood. To elevate yourself above anyone is as bad as another doing the same over you is it not? Race,Creed, Color or Sexual Orientation .... we are made of the same stuff. Same 4 chemicals make up our DNA.

I will not bow to another because of his beliefs, his color, his orientation or wealth. Neither do I expect any to do so for me. We classify everything and everyone in this world. I am proud to be a white, straight, American male struggling and happy.... that makes me no better or worse than anyone else. The reason I am proud to be all of that, is those are just labels and classifications. What I am really proud of, is... me. There's only one me that I know of! Whether by accident or plan here I am and I will continue to be me, fight the good fight for what is right and just, and attempt to love everyone for who they are in between. I am heading toward that pine box someday, and I want to be smiling in it. For whatever it was all worth, i did my best with what I was and what I was given as my lot in life.

I wasn't entitled to anything but to die at the end like everyone else.

Relax people.... it's only life.

~P.W.

What a man wants... same as a woman :P DUH!

2010-11-13T15:42:00.000-08:00

I was asked to shed light on what 'real men' want. Not the players or abusers, mind you. But the average man. The hard working men who are capable of love and devotion. Well, that is pretty simple: same as you ladies.

The number one thing that attracts a man is NOT a nice body. Yes were are visual, and attracted to what we see. That only goes so far. Here is an interesting concept as well for the predominant attraction for a good man, is also a repellent for the assface players of the world and they seek the EXACT opposite.

Confidence.

The simple truth of it all is a never ending chaos when dating or hoping to find a mate. A good man wants a woman who is comfortable with herself and with her body. Who doesn't want the lights turned out (particularly after years of marriage for chrissakes) and can actually enjoy passionate acts without any or minimal insecurities.

Ladies, ever wonder why men stare at models? Nope, not their bodies and I can tell you that for certainty. I am a card carrying member of the "Chubby-Chasers" club and yet I will still stare at a size 4. I probably wouldn't do the bonebag... sorry to all natural size 4's, but I am attracted. The answer is the confidence they exhaust out of every pore on that runway. It is the same thing with PORN. Men want the wanton slut. The unabashed harlot who doesn't repress herself. THAT is sexy. To be wanted...is sexy. To want pleasure...is simply sexy. We watch the strut for the struts sake. We want the women who are content with themselves. The real average man does anyway. The woman who thinks sexy, acts sexy and is sexy because of it all. That same confidence indicates security, and low and behold that is the same attractant for women now isn't it? The confident man.

Insecurity and low self esteem isn't sexy. Sorry. Hard truth for some. Just as a woman finds that a turn-off so does a man for different reasons. We men know that a woman who isn't secure with herself..will CHEAT. She is prone to it. More likely to to build her self esteem and we will not take that chance, or at least not for very long with someone who we feel is: a "fixer-upper".

Loyalty and commitment are forms of security.If you aren't secure, you just don't have it.

The overly needy woman who has to be constantly lifted, is quite simply a risk. It is only a manner of time. We men think in competitive terms in everything. We know that there are stronger, younger, more well-endowed or wealtheir men out there, somewhere. Thus, we also know that a woman with low self esteem more than half the time, both consciously and subconsciously will commit infidelity as a way to boost herself. Now the smarter of you all know that this reaction is a temporary fix. Most do not however, and fall into the trap of always "boosting" from male after male. Seeking solace. Seeking VALIDATION. We don't have time for that in our lives, sorry. We would like someone who doesn't treat us as a stepping stone or the "for now" man. Mind you this isn't exclusive either, I have known a few men who sought the same validation and most men brag about their "conquests". Even the gay ones.

Yet, it is different for a man as 99% of the time it is not seeking validation in the same manner as women. Men seek to be desired yes, to feel sexy and attractive, hell yes. The difference is we know going in what it is that drives us. Society allows the lame excuse of sowing our oats or our strong reproductive urges to ensue the human genes. Well, yes there is evidence to support that, but it is a COP-OUT! You tell your body what to do, not the other way around. Saying "No" is quite simple, if you claim to actually love another person. Yet, men know it is a temporary fix...that is why we delegate "side chicks" and have affairs. The players want the cake and to eat it too. Want the long term love and as many young, hot vixens we can get in our bed to knotch our bedpost up to manhood again. That is the difference. Women deal more on emotion than primal logic. They do not see it as plainly as that. it isn't as direct. Shrouded in romance and sensuality it is an affair, online or in reality, that at it's base is a search for that same validation. To be desired. To be wanted. Lusted. Further than that, to be...loved. As with all things down to the difference between the sexes,it is much more an emotional search for validation to a woman, than a man.

So, back to the players and abusers before I close this chapter. I mentioned they wish the opposite, it is true. They consciously and subconsciously search for VICTIMS. For women who are unable to see themselves as beautiful. Women who are unable to see themselves as sexy. Worse yet, for women who are unable to see themselves as lovable. I have cautioned time and time again about these wastes of so-called manhood, they search for PREY.

They smell it, catch the scent and fall upon you. Say all the right things they know you want to hear, and behave like a man until they are done with you, or have you in their grips for life. Whether it is the one that uses you for sex for months or years never committing, or the one that confesses love and then blackens your eye twice a week. The beast is the same. It doesn't love you. Doesn't respect you. And isn't a man. It is a piece of shit masquerading as a man. More likened to a boy who hasn't grown up. Insecure behind macho bravado and somewhere still crying in a corner afraid of the world. The false confidence and all the lies cannot stay at hand forever. Soon the curtain falls if you are open to seeing it.

The problem here is this, women who have been hurt by these men...tend to seek more out. The pattern continues. Seeking liars, cheats and abusers because they seem confident, seem secure, seem attractive. That facade, whether real or not is what most women want. Trading everything, every part of themselves to have a good looking or financially secure mate make them feel attractive, special, and well cared for. This pattern continues with different faces, but the same damn man for as many years as it takes for that woman to hopefully wake up. Sadly, many do not, EVER. I have seen lives wasted with man after man who cheated, lied, abused etc. and the woman just keeps on picking them. The signs are blatant, she is blind or does not care, for he is attractive, he says the right things, or he can support her lifestyle.

Heres a fucking novel of an idea... DO IT YOURSELF! I see so many women who purport to be "strong and independent" crying how they cannot find a good man. Bitch...you are BLIND! What you mean is you cannot believe in yourself or your own power and feel you NEED a man to validate you, make you feel attractive and secure. Yet, you seek men who add up to those expectations. You separate by class, never getting to know some men based on how they look, how much money they make, or some particular bogus superficial reason. This from a sex that claims to always love deeper and truer and supposed to be more in tune emotionally? Some of you should close your eyes and attempt to find real love and what really matters.

Herein lies the conundrum... we always want people more attractive either physically or on some other level to validate us. To make us feel acceptable on their level. Wow, what complete and utter stinking plastic bullshit! You're right that is much more imortant than having a mate that will love, be loyal, and never leave your heart or your side until you're dead! How silly of me! Everyone men and women, seem to think "trading up" makes them better. Sorry, cold truth is it makes you an devolved and insecure person willing to trade principles and substantial real emotions, as well as a possible soulmate...for your own validation.

You want to feel better about yourself? YOU have that power already. Only you can do that. Get more education, change your appearance, help the homeless, do the right thing and live well! Otherwise play the victim and fall into those patterns. The real men of the world will pass you by, we do not want damaged goods, hard as that is to swallow. We want someone who loves themselves so we can love them too! We want a lifetime and a lovetime where we can adore you, pamper you, and care for you. We do not want to spend all of our energy waiting for you to cheat. leave, or watch you in your self imposed misery. We tire of that quickly, and we will move on.

No one will truly love you, the real you, for who you and all you are...until you love yourself. No one will even want you for that one night stand, unless it is choosing you for it's victim.

Seek to love yourself...don't be a victim.

~P.W.

Crossroads and a Pine Box

2010-10-26T13:45:00.000-07:00

In our lives we struggle. That is what life is designed to bear for human beings. Evolutionarily speaking it is the survival of the fittest. Spiritually speaking it is a design that helps us become greater than when we started. Either faith is reputable as it means in any language: progression. Time is a tyrant. When we are born that hourglass is flipped over and the great sands flow into the bottom dictating how long we have on this earth. There is little we can do about that, so the focus becomes on how we spend that time.

I have had many,many hardships in my life of varying degrees. I know you reading this have too. However if you are reading this, you and I could never fathom the hardships other people in other less fortunate lands have endured or even the person down the street! Imagine your life is day-to-day filled with mortar shells and ricochet of gunfire. Imagine being born in a country where Female genital mutilation is performed. Imagine not knowing where your next meal is coming from as a ten year old child. Imagine a life where on top of everything else, you run the risk of being raped and killed by guerrillas in your daily activity just because you happen to live in Uganda. THOSE ARE HARDSHIPS my friends.

Sometimes we forget how lucky we really are. How exactly lucky we are that we are able to make the choices we can make. Hardships and troubles build our character, whether we want them to or not. As Nietzsche once said "Whatever does not kill us, makes us stronger." Those are the truest of words ever spoken.

But here is the clincher, the proverbial kick in the crotch that so many fail to understand. It is YOUR life, and no one elses. I see the "Fuck you all!" attitude everywhere, people on high horses, myself included. As a naturally rebellious individual who cares little what people think of me I have fallen to that same mindset in anger and individualistic rage. But is it constructive? If you're going to get angry at circumstances then do something about them. Otherwise you are just a whiny victimized self portrait of your own choices and shame.

If you have read my life as i posted in this blog here: Part One and here: Part Two then you know I have had some trials and tribulations much like many of you. The hardships we endure are not much different than any other persons. The common ground is we have all struggled against something and made it to this point. I have had my moments of apathy, self pity, and depression... a big black pit of depression when i could not walk for example. Yet i realized, it is my life. My one shot (barring reincarnation, and even then this might be the last shot) I have to do something with it. I decided i will not waste it at a job that doesn't appreciate me, on a person who doesn't love me and treat me well, or on views and perceptions that take my energy away from a constructive evolution of who I am!

Simply put: It was a decision to be happy.

Being happy and to live fulfilled is as much a decision as anything else is. It comes from battling against what life throws at you. From moving on and leaving behind what does not serve your well being. be that people, circumstances or beliefs. We are faced with these moments at several times in our lives, the crossroads that will determine a course for a time. At these junctures our decisions are all the more crucial. You can be a victim or a victor. If you do not choose .... Life chooses FOR YOU. When faced with a horrible situation the only control you may have is your reaction to it, whether you let it affect you. If you let it affect who you are as a person. If you do nothing, it will. Life will deem for you. On a spiritual plane "God helps those who help themselves." Scientifically, that reap what you sow theory is a law of life according to Newtonian physics: "Every action has an equal and opposite reaction." Whatever you believe, the fact remains, if you do nothing... nothing will change. All you may be able to do is laugh at the horrible smack in the face life hits you with, so do as I do and laugh hearty and loud! If you let your hardship change you or hold you back, then you only have yourself to blame.

Guess what? you're not the only person in human history to have ever had the same horrible circumstance, whatever it may be, happen to them! Guess what else? They survived. Possibly thrived. People get divorced daily from the love of their life. Others have close loved ones or mates die right in their hands. People have their children go missing. Others still lose their jobs and have no income to feed themselves or their families. Every single day somewhere in the world is given the news they have cancer or aids. Someone is raped or molested every 13 seconds i have heard. Someones someone just died just now. Someone with a learning disability is taking a test he or she will fail because no one took the time to care. Someone else just lost a limb, or their sight or hearing. Can you honestly sit there and say life is over from your perspective knowing that those people, will live on and survive or their loved ones will? We Live. We Love. We Survive. That is life. Suck it up.

Finally I leave you with the Pine Box. My Pine Box theory is something I always return to when faced with difficult choices.

When you die, and you're in that Pine Box.... what will you regret? What will you wish you changed? Will you wish you lived your life different? Nothing you have attained will go with you. The materialistic trappings of life, that new car, the jewelry, even your clothes aren't going with you. Even if you believe that's it and you're going nowhere, nothing goes with. You cannot change anything, the way you spoke to people, the choices you made, the time you spent and how you spent it. that's it. Done and over. So what did your life mean? Did it have meaning? Did you choose to spend that hourglass wisely? All of those hours watching reality TV didn't enrich your life did it? All of that time spent with someone who didn't care as much about you as you thought are meaningless. All of that time whining about your situations instead of taking action and changing your life was utterly defeatist and pointless. Your life, is no more. you should have changed it when you had the chance and lived and loved well. Done all you wanted to do. Made plans and realized them. Saw your loved ones more. Eliminated the people from your life and circle who weren't constructive and well meaning. Lives are wasted on undeserving people, interests and ill pursuits. They are wasted even more so by those who never truly live them. Lives are never wasted in hardship, they are opportunities to make us better.

That hourglass is ticking my friends, what kind of conversation do you want to have with yourself while lying all alone in that Pine Box?

It's your life, your choices, and...your coffin.

Live well. Love well. Be happy.

~ P.W.

Agony and Fantasy: Love just a click away?

2010-09-06T17:45:00.000-07:00

I am an old dog. An old dog that has learned more than a few tricks. I was on the internet while most of you were still wearing diapers or just graduating high school. We are talking Netscape and Internet Explorer 1.0. I was an early adopter of MSN's WebTv as well, cruising IRC chatrooms, MSN, Yahoo, and a myriad of forum boards from coast to coast and then some. In those travels I have seen and experienced it all, and I am here to tell you... the internet LIES.

In those early days, and up into this modern moment, I have seen my fair share of the "internet love" phenomenon in all it's disgusting glory. I have first hand knowledge myself as well of lessons learned, which I will get to. However first, let us outline some common general points of interest to help those daring to read digest what is about to be layed out in horrific reality.

The Internet is anonymous, the invisibility it enables allows people to be fully themselves, and it also allows for great deception at the very same time. A double edged sword for you to lay your heart upon.

People do NOT want reality. You want FANTASY. Reality is boring. The ideal man or woman in perfect construction meeting every need and desire is what you want. The fantasy of that perfect person is better than the person with any slight flaws you already have, or, any you might meet.

Desperation is a phenomenal motivator. The only way most see to build their self perceptions and boost their own ego is to find that reflection in another person's eyes. Instead of digging in and building their own self esteem, it is easier to allow someone else to build it for them.

You're just....... stupid.

Ignorance is bliss and the fantasy is far better than the cold, lonely reality. Who wants to be lied to? Nobody. Yet, most people love living in a pattern of denial and lying to themselves in order to escape reality.

The internet is... safe. That barrier allows us to become who we think others want. It even allows us to be more of who we are... or who we think we are. It also allows us to believe in what we wish to see, other than what is actuality. People are drawn to cyber-romances for the same reasons they are drawn to face-to-face romances - either they don't have a "real-life" love relationship, or there is something missing in their "real-life" love relationship.The partial anonymity of the barrier of cyberspace allows for an environment where, just like role playing, fantasy and reality lines can blur irreparably. There becomes no distinction between love in the real life world one lives, and the the cyber world. To say this is dangerous and will 99% of the time end in tragedy and heartbreak is a fact that I shouldn't have to tell you. The fact that some reading this are so far in denial that they will refuse to believe it and reject it is a far worse ignorant tragedy. The life you save may be your own.

Storytime: I once met a woman, online in an internet chatroom I thought was perfection personified. We knew each other for almost two years as friends and talked daily before ever becoming romantic. We knew each others lives in and out and due to the fact we had known each other for so very long, were not as cautious as I know now we should have been. A short few months after we had declared our feelings for one another, we decided to wait no further and meet face-to-face. This meeting was then accelerated to me moving across country to live with this woman, in effect, shutting down my whole life and leaving my career and educational opportunity behind in hopes of building a life with the one I love. The first two weeks were fantastic... then... quickly, I learned the true horror of life and love. Her mask fell away and I learned that she was absolutely certifiably mentally ill. She was a former heroin addict, had a bestiality fetish, and a compulsive liar. She was in debt and was to lose her house. Some of this I found out while I was there, other things her sister who remains a close friend to this day, had clued me in later after I returned home. She also had two children who were ill with medical issues. I had known about the children, the medical issues were never discussed. While I was there the daughter, aged 7, underwent a major surgery to move her heart. This I discovered when my so called mate and her daughter came home 5 hours late one evening. It was NEVER discussed beforehand. Surprise! Also, from her sister I had learned later that I was not the first, and am not the last. This woman kept ensnaring lonely men in her web of lies, wanting someone to save her from her life and herself. If you're looking for a savior ladies, there are none. If there is you will be only trapped and indebted to that man for the rest of your life. A gilded cage because you failed to live life by yourself and be self sufficient. Good luck with that as well.

I was there for a little under 2 months. Putting up with rage filled mood swings, thrown objects, and overall odd behavior. During this same time her sister and I believe that she was cheating on me to boot, as as soon as I left, another man moved in. Take note here: We knew each other for over 2 goddamn years and spoke online... and by phone daily/nightly. Every fucking day! Still, she kept her real face, the reality of her situation and her craziness from me. Artifacts of a horrible tragic past were never told to me until after I had left and returned home. Since then, according to her sister, she had returned to drugs use, began stealing property, moved in and out man after man to play her savior, and lost the children to child services for neglect. Finally, she went back to her ex-husband (who incidentally abused her emotionally and physically for 10 years prior) for a year before he cheated on her with a middle management fast food franchise associate, his supervisor, and left her for life in the fast lane of retail food preparation. Oh the joys and wonder! Yet I know if I were in contact with her today, I would not know half of that.

My point is that anyone can deceive you. Anyone can fool you when you want to play the fool so badly. Immersion into a fantasy life is all too easy when we find it better than our real lives. Alas the cure for loneliness is not simply another person, it is being happy and content with yourself. Until you are you aren't going to find a mate that is real or worthwhile anyway. The dysfunctional life you may have at home, the lack of love, the lack of connection... just like anything else in today's modern life becomes disposable. Easier to get a new one then fix what you have. Problem with that line of thinking is that the common denominator is usually YOU. The thing that needs fixing is staring in the mirror back at you. Depending upon others to make you happy will never, ever, ever, ever... NEVER make one truly happy. It just doesn't work like that. Sorry. Cold, hard truth.

Online relationships are just that...online relationships. Make it real, or accept the fantasy. Accept that you cannot take it farther because you are too scared or they are and move on. Accept that it is not real because the persona you are masking yourself with is not real, or you do not trust that they are. Accept that you are married and either fix it, or get out on your very own. Accept that they are married and if they really wanted you they would do something, anything, move a mountain to be there with you. Accept that you like lying to yourself because it makes life easier to deal with.

When you want something real.... you have to take real risk.

Unless you meet in real life, real honest to goodness actual physical material life......... IT IS A FUCKING FANTASY! Period. There is no gray area here. It is all your imagination, and theirs. A shared dream. A lie.

Even then, you can be lied to. People can lie to you in real life so easy and without remorse or guilt, what makes you think that people you meet online have any trouble doing it on a much simpler and easier level? People live secret lives that their family and friends never see or know about for years and decades, imagine the simplicity of doing that online.

I know by now some are in full denial mode where they are shaking heads in contempt and thinking that they are special, they are exempt and what they have is real. Yeah, that is exactly what I thought. The "Oh but we are soulmates" BullShit! "He/She finishes my sentences" or "They are the only one who truly KNOWS me." That is what many couples believe up until they find their mate in bed with another man, or woman. Or both. Or even a dog (don't ask!) You are not exempt and you do not have a perfect radar/lie detector. There is always a better liar, or better secret keeper than you. Psychologists make mistakes. FBI profilers are occasionally wrong. Deception is all too easy as it often is only.... omission.

And for those who are engaging in infidelity on either side, you are by far the worst of all. He or She already has a connection deeply entwined with others. It is called "A FAMILY". It is called a "Wife" or a "Husband". Or maybe you have that same connection. If they or you are not happy, then move the fuck on. It IS that simple. It is YOUR Life. Live it already before it is taken away from your cheating useless ass. Remember that karma is a bitch and your infidelity will come back to you. He or She is cheating on their spouse. You will be no different. If that cheater is you, then you are wrecking homes, lives and causing undo suffering to all involved. All because you are selfish beyond definition and afraid to face your life you have created. Sitting behind a keyboard cybersexing is still cheating if you are with another. It will come back to you. Do you really want a person with as questionable morals as you have to be with? You are willing to trust your heart and your life with someone who is completely comfortable with deceit and trickery? I guess the end justifies the means for some of you that are lost and desperate. You will give away all that you are rather than face responsibilities or confront bad situations you put yourself in. That is just plain wonderful. Enjoy your fucked up mess life! If I were you I would start worrying when and how the mate you chose for your fake love and imaginations will cheat on you and leave you. It is the natural order.

Online relationships can happen incredibly fast. When involved online with someone, you don't experience the negative body language or warning signals that may occur when you meet face to face. You are taking the other person's word on trust - while he or she may be romancing four or five others with the same lines that you find appealing. You may be giving a false impression of yourself due to dissociation from your real life, and it's consequences. If you're not telling the whole truth, can you really expect anyone else to? WOW that is awful hypocritical of you! So, when you are deceived and lied to, and it turns out to be not all what you expected. Do not feign surprise, it is called your bed, you made it, now lie in it!

Low self esteem and loneliness as well as poor impulse control will be the undoing of any relationship, add that to an online one and you have a powder keg of misery waiting to happen. Make it real or fantasy. Accept it or accept the consequences.

If no one in the relationship is making plans to take it that next step, then guess what? It is fantasy. It is a lie. It is not going anywhere and it is not growing like normal relationships do. Shit or get off the pot!

Lastly, I myself have found my love online as many of you know. We are progressing. We have made plans, set dates, and have an itinerary. We are testing what we have been culturing and nurturing and shall see IF what we have is real. That is what you are supposed to do when you are in love, be together.

P.S. it is easy to deceive, there are only between 6 or 7 people who know my real face. The rest of you may think you know, those who really do are sworn to secrecy. Why? Because it makes the point. We are who we portray. We are who we want others to see.

~PW

*Portions of this post were borrowed and analyzed for research purposes from:

http://bipolar.about.com/cs/menu_chat/a/0302_online1.htm

http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200412/cyberspace-love-online

http://www.chowk.com/articles/10388

IDIOCRACY and the Common RE-RE

2010-08-31T14:15:00.000-07:00

Hello friends! Today I am on the pulpit again discussing the worst disease that man has ever seen. The plague that scourges modern civilization. IGNORANCE!

If you have not seen the movie Idiocracy I highly recommend it. Consider it prophetic. Consider it a representation of the society we will soon live in thanks to the way we live today. Let me ask you... when was the last time you read a book? An actual BOOK BOOK, not things that pass as books such as the Twilight series. Something that has actual substance to it. That makes you think and feel. Something that when you finish it changes you in some way, or widens your scope of reality.

CLICK HERE TO SEE YOUR FUTURE!

We live in an age where this is becoming a lost art. Reality TV has taken over our airwaves and more people know the names of every goddamn person on The Hills than who is in the President's cabinet. More people right now think that a genome is that little dude on the Travelocity commercials than know it is a complete collection of hereditary information residing in your DNA. WE ARE BECOMING STUPID! What is worse... no one seems to care.

I daily post articles on science and the wonders of life. I try to keep my followers up on what the latest discoveries are and give a different perspective. I also post opposing points of view and a myriad of perspectives on politics and what is happening around us. Funny, these things aren't re-posted as much as when I say the word wiener. I can only assume you aren't interested and that is a damned shame. Shame on YOU.

I see the Twitter Trending Topics daily, and various newsfeeds and there is this culture of icon worship I reject. I do NOT care about who is doing what. Will it enrich my life any? More than likely not. Some chick gets busted that used to be on a reality show, or Paris Hilton has a semi intruder in her front yard and it brings social media to a halt. Meanwhile guess what? People are DYING somewhere in the world... there are people who do not know where their next meal will come from while I see others shopping for $400 sunglasses! What.... The.... Fuck?

We have had some of the worst disasters in history happen in the last couple of years and yes, I see people doing their best to help. Meanwhile others cannot wait for Glee to start, or are wondering if they are in love with their online roleplay cyber lover. This is truly the most disgustingly retarded age man has ever lived in if these are your main concerns. An inordinate amount of people have lost their entire lives in the last couple of years, homes destroyed or foreclosed upon. Men and women on the street and worrying about feeding their families. All while others cannot stop talking about Lady Gaga or The Kardashians. This is why Noah had to build the fucking Ark, it wasn't sodomy.. it was idiocy!

I know the comments I will get... "We know it is like this or that maybe we just want an escape." Escape? This is LIFE! There is no escape. Escaping from life is called DEATH. What it is is DENIAL. Many think that the world revolves around them. That is all they can see. Spending hundreds of dollars on a dress because they have the money to blow. Ahh... but you deserve it right? You are entitled because you are you! Because of your hard hard hard life... BULLSHIT! Life is supposed to be hard. You are no different than anyone else. The fact you are reading this tells me you are sighted. Imagine being blind for a day, or loss of an arm or leg. Imagine, for those who haven't, having CANCER or AIDS. THOSE are problems. Those are diseases. I see and know people with real troubles who get up daily, work, live and love. Let me tell you, these people could not give two shits what is on E! tonight. They are trying to feed themselves and their families and struggling though life. These are the real heroes that you will never see on TV or in People magazine. These are the people we should see as Icons, but they cannot afford Prada... so we do not idolize them.

When did being practical and wanting to better oneself become a sin? When did we lose sight of values and morality? I see people who are so caught up in the wrapping of thier own lives, myopic and isolated it disgusts me. The trappings of the world has consumed them. "Who cares? How does it affect me? What do I get out of it?" is the attitude I sense. People hide their heads in the sand like an ostrich and pretend the world revolves around them. Guess what? Newsflash: IT DOESN'T!

I see an entire culture that has become self absorbed, superficial, narcissistic, and gluttonously materialistic beyond definition.

Face it. We are sucky humans. We deserve that popcorn shaped asteroid heading at us. We deserve to be stupid in a Jerry Springer society where everyone cheats on everyone else and we cannot add numbers past what our birthday cake has on it. Our morals and our values have been tainted beyond recognition. We let people tell us what to think and how to feel. We let people control us with a cyclops eye we stare at nightly because we percieve those peoples lives are better than our own. Take all of those hours you have spent talking about or watching frivolous media and add it all up... when you die.... you are gonna wish you spent those hours differently. You are going to want those many many hours back, and be willing to sell back all the expensive things you bought for them. You will want to trade anything to have your life. That is a fact.

Escape is fun. I watch my favorite shows too. However when it becomes larger than life and the world seems to revolve around it, that is a sign media controls us. it doesn't reflect us, it is only killing brain cells as we live for the waste and controversy that comes next. Were not far from the Romans, reveling in the gore of people ripped to shreds by lions, or gathering to watch people hang to their deaths upon crosses. The apathy they shared towards their fellow man, and the craving to gorge themselves for status sake on the expensiveness of the worldly goods they held so precious became their downfall. Western culture materialistic idealism will now do the same. We are becoming stupid while we cradle our possessions in our arms and smile in our own ignorance. Cannot take it with you, you really can't. Most of it will just be sold at auction or at a goodwill after you die. Meanwhile you are wishing you had those hours back and had done more, lived more, loved more and perhaps helped a few people while you were here.

Some of you truly should be ashamed of yourselves. I cannot change you, only you can do that. But I can suggest maybe turn off the tv and go outside now and then. Stop spending money on things that have no other value other than status. Read a goddamn book if you want an escape, and not one with people who stalk and sparkle...that's a whole other story.

~PW

God Loves Fat girls, and I do too!

2010-07-19T23:51:00.000-07:00

Ok, so this has been coming a long damn time. Most people who know me know my feelings and it is high time I bitched in blog form.

ALL WOMEN ARE BEAUTIFUL. I honestly have met only a few that I have found unattractive, typically it had nothing to do with their appearance but lack of intellect or grasp of the English language. STUPID is UGLY. Sorry, it is true.

Here is the kicker though, whenever I speak about my desires I am either applauded or vilified. One woman argued with me that I was presenting an unrealistic world, unhealthy view for my opinion. First: It is not my opinion, it is what my body desires. I am positive she would never tell a gay man he was wrong for being attracted to men, so how it is right I am taken to such task for my adoring of fat women?

By the way, I said FAT! I will occasionally call women by the accepted moniker of BBW, but for Christ-sakes FAT IS FAT. And...there is nothing wrong with that! If you are 10lbs. overweight than what the clinicians say you should weigh, sorry, by there standards YOU ARE FAT. I do not agree with it, but it is what it is. LOVE YOUR FAT! It is what it is. I am sorry, I want a WOMAN to look like a fucking WOMAN...NOT a VAGINA on a STICK! Women are supposed to be soft and curvy, not hard and cut, that's what men are for.

Now, on with the show.

Jayne Mansfield and Marlyn Monroe, Betty Page would be considered fat today. Yeah! Fat! Jessica Simpson was considered fat and was still a size 4!!! This, disgusts me! Yet, men still adore them aside from social stigma that it inherits. Many love Oprah, Queen Latifah, Anna Nicole (RIP) all have rabid male lusters today just as the pinups did back then, so what is it? What is the fucking deal?

As a Matter of fact, women in the 1920s through the late 1960s were ENCORAGED to GAIN WEIGHT by society. Much like the diet pills and fads of today there were weight gaining pills and a campaign against skinny women. Those who do not remember or disbelieve may click the following link:

http://www.retronaut.co/2011/11/vintage-weight-gain-ads/

Most men, though some will never admit it to friends, relatives, or on any public forum, prefer a woman to ...yes...here it comes...BE FAT. That is not all men, but most. In actuality the men who prefer an athletic or slim woman are in the minority. I can tell you this with absolute certainty, as I know what men say behind closed doors with others they are comfortable with. From a very young age, just as women are brainwashed to be barbie dolls, men are sociologically manipulated to hold strength and money in high esteem. We are told what to like, by parents, by the media, and the most important delineation by our peers. Ask any homosexual how that feels... it is worse for them. Heteros do not get off easy (pun intended fully) and males are subject to like what everyone else likes. That is the first factor.

I'll take the one who resembles a woman please...on the RIGHT!

The other factor is genetics. Instinct! We are genetically inclined to LOOK for the fittest gene pool. The most healthy womb we can put our peeper into to create more of us. It isn't something we think about or ever question, at first. What inevitably happens is this: Men age, and thus... do not give a shit anymore what anyone thinks, or what the instinctive programming thinks. Finally, around mid-30s, WE GROW UP. We can then think for ourselves and our hormones have stopped making our choices, in effect the rest of the body finally gets a cut of what motivates us, not just our tyrannical penis. Finally we can be ourselves and seek an actual MATE instead of a receptacle for our sperm. Crude, yes but true genetically. We become, at some point in there far far behind women, enlightened.

Men typically want a mate that has wide hips, baby bearing hips. That is the part of procreation that continues to fuel us until the day we die. However it is at this point we disregard the social norms, which incidentally did not exist until this century, and seek a woman with plenty of cushion. To what degree is really a matter of personal taste, but look around at the late 30 and early 40's men, do they really look like they care how they look? With exception to those having a mid-life crisis, no, they do not. Mid-life crises are caused by that need, that desire to breed and instill our genetic programming into the next generation. It is instinctual. We will seek younger and more fit mates during this phase, yet, we never seem to want to settle down with them do we? It typically ends up with a breakup, the man feeling like a man again off to seek someone he can settle down with and BE HIMSELF with. A woman who has all the right curves that he desires. Typically older or his same age group. Smarter (obviously) and more sensible.

There is one last factor to consider, men are weenies. No, no, not have weenies, ARE weenies. The larger the woman, the more scared we are that we will somehow be less of a man. In our eyes, and yours ladies, men are supposed to be the big, strong manly type. The truth is, men..even BBW lovers will find a fat woman intimidating. Not solely do to her size, you could simply be 15-30 odd pounds overweight! Men are insecure, we are children, we never grow completely up and our egos are very fragile. Men's egos are wrapped up in our sexual performance, we are threatened by women who we feel may "outfuck" us. We are threatened by women we cannot control or make submissive. Yet, we desire them the most as well. The fatter you are, the more we are turned on, yet the more we fear your demanding sexual drive and become anxious about living up to your expectations. This is generally where "Fat Bashing" makes an appearance, to save ego, to save face, and to save our shriveled penis from being humiliated at the hands of a REAL WOMAN.

This happens with the most attractive and the smartest of women too. I have seen it happen and with my friend summer studied it. Summer, had a body similar to Jessica Rabbit, and her looks could kill. Yet, many many times this woman went entire nights with absolutely not one man approaching her in nightclubs. On occasion, there were a few, but these were the type of men who are so arrogant and self assured it made her vomit in her throat. Most of the time, those types of men, are abusers and adulterants beyond compare. She wanted nothing to do with "playas".

Trust me when I also tell you, the curvier you are, the more instinctively a man wants you. If we can get past peer pressure, social programming, fear of rejection, fear of not being able to please, and just plain old fear... we may just surprise you. But, that is alot to overcome.

I, am a card carrying member of the Chubby Chasers club and have been since I was 14 years old. I am proud to say I want my women fat! Big and fat, to just a little fat. Fat is delicious! And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Lastly, Miss Monroe's stats are here:

Height: 5' 5 1/2"
Weight: 140 lbs.
Bust: 35-37"
Waist: 22-23"
Hips: 35-36"
Bra size: 36D

To me, she was a little thin.....

~PW

And you will see....

2010-05-28T03:11:00.000-07:00

Awaken every day with the lost pieces of faith
The mirror scales back to show you your fate
To deceive is to be deceived by another mourners shadow
.....and then you will see

To cry a thousand times about the same forsaken things
Burying the lesson learned before it kisses your face
The silence is louder than what the heart thinks it needs
.....and then you will see

Under that sky you sin to delight
selling yourself for all unknown starshine
as time crashes in a moment of an instant
..... then you will see

When you feel the dark of an invisible hand
Poisoned the innocent as they love and as they stand
then you will know the intimate acid black heart
and then, only then...... will you see.

PUPPET ON A STRING... HOW STUPID ARE YOU?

2010-05-14T13:25:00.000-07:00

I've discussed many players and their tricks and lies in past blogs. Exposing the game for all to see. Today I will discuss the absolute worst of them all, the man in a relationship already...The Married Player! Mr. Married.

We've live together but I haven't touched her for years.
I only married her for my children.
She doesn't understand my needs.
As soon as all the kids turn 18 I'm leaving.
I filed for divorce but I am just waiting to find a way to tell my son/daughter.
I would let you meet my kids but even though we don't have a relationship , she is still the mother of my child .

Sound familiar ladies or gay men?

here's some more:

We're living together but not sleeping together

I just sleep over there to take my kids to school.

I am not looking for anything serious, lets take it slow

I'm just dating, but I only have time on the weekends or very early in the day.

No one has ever turned me on as much as you, honest!

I'm moving out soon. I've been looking at places....

It's complicated, I have the kids to think about.

I'm waiting for the right time.

I'm waiting her to say SHE wants out.

I do not love her anymore, haven't for years.

She KNOWS about you, only a matter of time now....

Instinct has told you to run away from these statements, time and time again. However that deep dark insecure fear of being alone and needing validation from another human being keeps you there, on the side, for as long as the player will want you to be. Why?

YOU ARE RIDICULOUSLY IGNORANT.

You saw the signs the moment the man says "I am married." You're not the first to believe it, and certainly not the last. Men typically are "serial cheaters" whereas women will have long recurring affairs with one man and lead him on, men will use a woman up and then look for the next cherry pop victim. The saddest fact here ladies and, gay gentlemen who find themselves in this position, you have absolutely NO ONE to blame but yourself. You wanted to believe, truly wanted it. Preferring rather to live in denial for a fantasy of happiness where you are loved and cherished.

The screaming fact:

If a man loves or cares for you that much, why is he not with you? I have said thousands of times the golden rule of men, you never ever ever ever ever ever pay attention to a mans words..... FUCKING EVER! You pay attention to a mans ACTIONS. A man will find a way, and fast. We cannot control our hormones, we lose our goddamn minds when it comes to our lusts. You know our dick rules our every decision in life right? It does! As the song goes "When a Man loves a Woman..can't keep his mind on nothing else." That single song was truer than any other song ever written. it was pure confession. Men have fought wars over women, changed countries, lost their lives in honor of a love...but this one you have found cannot even talk to you on the phone when you want him to? Jesus Christ wake the fuck up!

I have heard the lies a thousand times from women and gay men. Married, unmarried somewhere in between. A liar is a liar. The lies remain the some no matter who they are being told to. Trust me, some of these guys are fan-fucking-tastic at spinning them. They should do advertising or public relations for candidates. I once knew a man who would write down his lies, record his dates, the woman's name, what she liked, every lie he told her and what her vulnerabilities were...in a notebook. This man had 5 women strung along at the same time! He was married and had done this for 15 years! Once one started to get too complicated he dumped them in a heartfelt sorrowful speech and threw out the notebook full of evidence.He had different cellphones designated work, home, and fuck. Truly, he had it down to an art form of amazing proportions. The women never knew where he lived even, he would use homes on the real estate market if they insisted on seeing his house and they "got 5 stars" according to his fucked up rating system. A simple removal of the For Sale sign in a furnished home he cased and viola!

Oh I am so sorry, how silly of me... YOU'RE SPECIAL! You are different and the situation is different. Except for the part where it is the same bullshit as everyone elses story. Except for the part where whether you are a woman or a gay man, you are just a HOLE to him. I guess the fact that these lies have been told billions of times since man first learned about getting a piece on the side has no bearing on your special, complicated situation. My mistake. you desire to be hurt and damaged. Carry on then.

For those who do not desire that, or prefer something real instead of fantasy where they actually risk a part of themselves for gainful true love and devotion... RUN AWAY!

I know there are men out there who really are genuine and may be caught in a mess, i have been there myself! Instead of empty promises however, I gave her proof of intention.

PROOF OF INTENT.

It is really that simple. Something, anything. Consistently. Absolutely. Unquestionable. Daily. Weekly. Momentarily. if a man truly cares and means what he says, it comes natural and is not contrived or forced. Most of all you do not have to specifically ask for it. the moment you ask for it, you already have your answer. it should have already been there.

Dont just take my word for it:

The Other Woman Speaks: "MEN DON'T LEAVE!"

A ring on his finger means your feelings will linger...long after he's gone...long after he's gone.

Until that time though, you will be Mr. Marrieds puppet on a string. I gave you scissors, it's up to you now.

Mommy...... why is there no SuperMan?

2010-05-02T09:35:00.000-07:00

.....And yet again, I am here to torment you as I have been tormented and deluded with silly and obvious questions, or observed the most blatant self disrespect known to mankind.

I see around me, online and in the real world, what can only be described as retarded idiocy in relationships. I see people unwilling to commit, and people who have committed too much. I see people with very very high expectations of potential mates, and others in an astounding state of none at all. I see people miserable with the people they are with, and others so blissfully happy in a delusional state of denial it literally makes my stomach lurch bile into my throat.

I have spoken about the "Superman Syndrome" before, but it bears repeating. Let me make it clear:

THERE IS NO PERFECT MAN! Get your head out of your ASS, watch less movies, put down the romance novels or magazine crap, and fucking listen for the first time in your desperately seeking love lives... he does not exist! Women are conditioned at an early age that they need someone. I dont give a flying fuck if you are lesbian or hetero, you are conditioned this way. That a mate, or a man, will bring you happiness. Whoa and here comes the fuck you part you need to deeply understand so read these words carefully. Happiness is NOT SECURITY.

The problem is you instinctively think so. The brainwashing starts when you play with dolls, in coloring books, in happily married after bedtime stories. Do I really really need to explain that that is bullshit? So then you go through your life gauging each man looking for the traits that you have been taught you should seek. Once millions of years ago it was the guy who had the biggest club, and no...not the one downstairs. It was the guy who knew how to survive through brute strength. Oh that sense of security was so warm and made neanderthal women feel so safe... until the man got old and could not defend her any more, or hurt himself while tracking food. Perhaps he became lunch for some other carnivorous beast who was out avoiding his wife's nagging. In any case, she...was fucked. On her own again. Why? Because Life is not SECURE.

Meanwhile, we have neanderthal chickie number two. She saw the giant club weilding misanthrope and decided she was not attracted to him. She ended up screwing around with the Bill Gates neanderthal. Now, Bill was not strong and he could not hunt for shit! When he felt threatened his natural defense was to pee himself. However, Bill had one thing working for him, his mind. Bill found a cave and rooted out all the animals with a nice brush fire. Bill....... had real estate! Shelter from the rain, the cold, even in the dark cavernous places..the heat. Our cavewoman knew Billy Boy could not hunt, well, except for finding immovable treats such as this modern day cave. So she compensated and began a gathering. These two lived many happy and happier years, until Bill Caveman wanted to move and found another cave in a neighborhood filled with prehistoric tigers.

So who was the better choice? Bill cave finder man, or Andre the Giant? NEITHER! Because you still aren't paying fucking attention! Our little cave chickie number two was definitely happier, and was a widow later rather than earlier this is true, but it had little to do with Bill. She learned to GATHER remember? To take care of herself, to help Bill's futile at times efforts to provide. She did not just expect, she trusted and co=operated. After Bill died she took care of HERSELF. Meanwhile chickie number one is lost in the wilderness waving around a club too big for her, and if she has learned to gather than she still has not found shelter.

So here is the question...did Chickie 2 settle? FUCK NO! Technically chickie number one did. Chickie two has a cave, can eat, and probably crochets after Bill dies. The biggest, strongest, wealthiest, tallest and "best looking" man is not always the wise choice. Having so much criteria leaves you lost, lonely and loveless when you haven't learned the basics of self preservation. LOVE YOURSELF! Chickie 2 could have gone for our jock football star, who was not dumb really, just not as smart as Bill. This is the problem with most Alpha Males...they will not let you do anything, they necessitate NEED.

Strong people? Become weak with age. Wealthy people or financially secure people? well we have seen how that changed in an instant this year for many men young and old. The wealth goes as the job goes and that could be gone in an instant. Tall people? They shrink and have typically more health problems than shorter ones. Good looking people? Yeah, aging does a number on them. As does the car accident that disfigures you thanks to another driver falling asleep or swerving to hit a raccoon. Smart people? How smart will they be in 10 years with brain cells dying due to the laws of nature, or if they are stricken with Alzheimers? The truth is...no matter who you choose, you are gambling with your heart and your life.

You are risking.... YOU! So stop playing the same immaturity games you have when you played with dolls at 6. Throw out the damn checklists of what you are looking for in your head, and live your life already. Seek LOVE, not an ideal if you are to seek. Seek a spirit, not a person. If not you are simply wasting your time when you realize someday after 5 or 10 or 20 years you chose the wrong person for you, because he was stable, or tall, or had a nice car, or shiny white teeth and a Superman Jaw. Then again you may just end up lonely because no one completed your checklists. If that happens do not come crying to me, I simply will not care at that point, you did not listen to reason. Just remember when you are miserable, I tried to warn you so many many years ago.

"Mommy, why is there no SuperMan?"

"Because he is a fantasy daughter, make believe and only exists because we human beings are greedy self centered and want all of everything."

"So...Daddy is not Superman?"

"No sweetie, Daddy is not perfect at all. He lacks in many ways things I wished he had. I wish he was stronger and more fit, I wish he was taller. I wish he was smarter. I wish he had money and such a fantastic job I didnt have to work. I wish he was dashingly good looking."

"The why are you with him mommy?"

"Because he loves me very much, and I love him as well. We love one another with all our hearts"

"So... he is YOUR SuperMan!!!"

AND THEY LIVED...... not always happily, not always perfectly blissful, but certainly...EVER AFTER.

Sweet Addiction and the Thorazine Shuffle

2010-04-09T16:52:00.000-07:00

Well...this might be considered a Part 3 to my life, or perhaps one of those short stories that comes out to accompany an already popular novel by an author who decides to ride his own coattails.

For the past 17 years I have been the primary caregiver of my mentally ill and one time drug addict older brother. This is another secret I have held long to, and speak about this only because some may be or have struggled with either of his conditions, or know loved ones who do.

Ill refer to him as E. for anonymity and because Im a lazy bastard.

E. began his problems after he turned 20 years old with his first psychotic break. He was then diagnosed with Paranoid and Catatonic schizophrenia, two different types of the same coin which are just wonderful bed partners in one mind. Picture The Odd Couple who never shut up in your head, and sometimes you just fade out for awhile. Schizophrenia is quite possibly the worst mental disease I can imagine.... if you will, try and visualize what it would be like to have radio stations in your head that keep changing channels and volumes, that you can NEVER turn off, then add the occasional visual hallucination of some sort. The visual ones for him have went from downright frightening, with a description of something demonic straight out of an H.P. Lovecraft novel, to a conversation I once bore witness to between E. and Twinkie the Kid. Im not kidding, it went on for 45 minutes as I listened and, rather morbidly, played along. I asked how ol' Twinkie was doing, how were the kids, and if he was at concerned with the great doughnut shortage of 1997. I also inquired whether Twinkie thought that then Pres. Clinton should be impeached, and whether he thought Monica Lewinski was a hot little piece of Jewish fat ass, as I did. My brother was kind enough to translate all of Twinkie the Kids meanderings and replies. Finally, I left him and Twinkie alone as my stomach began to hurt from my hysterics.

We all deal differently with hardship...I have always dealt so with humor, sometimes, that is truly all you have. When you are called by a neighbor to your work and told that the police have arrested your brother for running down the street naked and in and out of houses at random, you have to laugh. Period. Later, you have to go and face the poor souls whom he disturbed and apologize, that isnt so easy when one of them had had a prior traumatic experience in her life and her children saw. Still, after some hugs, coffee and getting her to laugh at his belief that Sesame Street was full of midget satanists, all is well. It also helps now that that families computer issues are repaired comped for life at my expense and time.

To add to the chemical imbalance he was born with, at a later age after his diagnosis, E. turned to illegal narcotics. Specifically cocaine and later...crack. A little known fact is that cocaine was once looked at as a possibility of controlling diseases like schizophrenia, until they through long study realized that the effect of relief was soon overtaken by making the disease worse at epic proportions. So, at first, E. thought it was helping him and continued to use, the addiction was quick, and ongoing for a total of 23 years.

Heres where I am proud of my brother, as without any aid whatsoever, he has been clean for the past 8 years. It was difficult for him, not easy. It took some tough love on my part to let him fall, but when circumstances spiraled us both out of control, it brought us both to a place where I was able to help rebuild him, and he was willing. Long long conversations that seemed never to end, mixed in part with schizophrenic breakdowns and legal battles in part to actions of his own doing, finally culminated in an acceptance and a defiance of what had held him chained.

I know I will get flak for this and so be it, but as one who has seen, and also from my own brothers mouth, addiction is NOT a DISEASE, it is a CHOICE. The affliction he was born with far before the addiction to drugs, having many minds at the same time with no off switch and unable to separate reality from fantasy...THAT is a disease. When he came upon that realization, he simply...quit. Sounds simple, but it was utter hell for him, and lesser extents to me. My father was an alcoholic...once... that ended when he failed to bring home the laundry from the laundromat after missing for 6 hours and is known in my family as "The great Flying Frying Pan Incident". My mother had hella good aim you see, and afterward, my father made the CHOICE to stop drinking. This is a man who served in the Navy and drank Aqua Velva to stave off the bends. Life...is a choice. It all is.

So these trials and tribulations were on top of the challenges that I was facing alone I have already discussed on this blog. What it boils down to, is that in the face of it...deep in the shit of life, two brothers held strong and were there for each other. The way it should be. My parents are gone, long gone, but I know they would be proud we remained the rock of one another when we needed one.

Time has passed now, and within the last 3 years E. is now afflicted with full complex seizures, similar to epilepsy, but brought on by the many many years of prescription drug use for his condition. This is normal, as the liver and brain can only handle so much over time. I discovered this when I saw him "not move" from the same exact spot for three days straight and took a closer examination. I possibly wouldve found it out sooner had I not been working so many hours at the time. Yet, I noticed that he hadnt moved since the day before, then thought...no wait...the day BEFORE. I then called the paramedics.

After all these years, i have it down to a science, I can tell when he is spiraling with his schizophrenia, can see the signs when he is about to have seizures, even can tell when he has missed a pill. Also can tell when the motherfucker is lying, one of my few talents and comes in handy.

I know we all have demons, hell some of our demons have demons. I know many who read this either have them or know of others who do. What have I learned from my life and my brother? That love and will can conquer all. That everything in our lives is a choice. That strength and light can come in the darkest hour, and that every single moment in our lives serves a purpose. In those moments we should count our blessings. Count them up, and forgive all that we can. I cannot imagine what my brothers life is like through his eyes, nor can I anyone elses...but, I can be compassionate and remind myself that everyone has their own challenges to face.

We must face them on our own, face our own truths. At the same time recognizing that others are there to help, and for us to help as well. God helps those who help themselves as they say, and sometimes, he is not a burning bush or an angel....

sometimes, he may just be a wisecracking Twinkie.

Be safe and well,

PW

LIES and the DEVIL INSIDE.....

2010-03-29T18:29:00.000-07:00

Yes I am on my pulpit again...sue me.

And no, this isn't a blogpost about Fleetwood Mac or INXS, though they were both good bands and those were good songs. No, this one is about malicious intent.

In eternity, I am who I am. My destiny, whatever the heavens have in store for me, whatever purpose I serve or have served is written. (No apologies to the atheists, because quantum physics has proven there is an order in the universes chaos... pick up a book!) So, in the meantime during that, I do the best I can to continue fighting the good fight, not for God, not even for man, for the sake of it. The pure unadulterated sake of it, because we all know the difference between what is right, and what is wrong. It is not particle physics, it is simple common sense.

Yet, there exists in the world evil. Don't kid yourself, evil is necessary. It is what drives us, it is a motivator and an obstruction. It is a CHOICE. Ive chosen in my life to reject it as much as possible, as I know most of you have that read this or I wouldn't call you my friends. Yet, it creeps in to ones life like a parasite in the shadows and crawls along your soul like that first mosquito of summer. It lands, and proceeds to look for the best place to start its vampiric draining. Heres an interesting thought though, is evil....evil? Is it not necessary? It is, it is the duality of mans consciousness and a force outside in itself. We need the evil of the world to know the DIFFERENCE.

Now with that setup, on to my point.... Lies. I have endeavored to live my life with honor. An honor my parents, god rest their souls, tried to imbue in me at a young age. It didn't fully take until my mid teens, and that is when I began to learn and see the evils of the world. I realized then, partly after reading the book "Lord of the Flies" when I was 11, and partly just observing the ridiculous hierarchy of high school step laddering, I learned the true overwhelming and horrifying power of a lie. The way it takes on a life of its own in the shadows of someones heart. The way people lie so much, that what they lie about becomes a part of them, of their belief system, of their personality. It terrified me, and disgusted me, at the same time. Thats when I succinctly put two and two together, evil is a lie. That all evil is born in a lie, like a cocoon of malicious intent. Springing forth to cause pain, and to cause the tears of innocent souls. Therefore, falsehoods became my enemy.

Now, am I a pious arrogant son of a bitch who is sitting here above any reproach? NO. Have I lied before? HELL YES! Everyone does. The difference is in the intent. A lie is still a lie, any way you cut it. However there are degrees of lies, there is a distinct difference between telling someone their new haircut looks great, and telling someone you love and care for them when you do not. A difference between telling your parents you're not sure how the rug caught on fire (don't ask) and telling someone that their boyfriend/girlfriend is cheating on them when you know they aren't. The intent of a lie matters.

Telling a falsehood for personal gain is the absolute worst. There are some I have met in my life that are pathological liars and resiliently believe their own bullshit. It is kind of awe inspiring in a sick way when you meet these people. They cannot stop. They manipulate those around them so they can be someone to be looked up to. They have a need in life to feel important, to feel as if those that surround them have elevated them. Often they are so teeming with their own self created arrogance and disdain for others it seeps out of their pores like sweat. Most become religious leaders or politicians. Others become sociopaths and neurotic liars who cannot seem to stop, even when they know they cause misery to others. It is these martyrs amongst us, I avoid like the plague. I choose not to play into their self delusion and let them wallow in their pathetic lifestyle of filth and dishonesty. However if I see thier tendrils touch someone I know, thats when I feel a compulsion to become directly involved, and go from observer to defender. Id expect no less from any of you either.

From the day the first lie was ever told, it has feared exposure. The day the darkness first took sinewy breath, it has feared the light.

Lies accomplish nothing at all. They in all earnest make nothing better in your life. I take responsibility for the lies I have told in my life...whatever they were. i have been blessed to be able to see the manipulators and the pathological demons from afar. They blink on and off like a neon light in my head, and when I meet them, I push record in my brain. I have an overly analytical and observant mind, and at this risk of sounding conceited and as a challenge to those whove lied to me or will.... NOTHING GETS PAST ME. I am a barometer, and I thank God that I am.

If you choose to play the games with me, you...will...lose. I do not play games. As we learned in "Wargames" in 1982... "The only way to win...is not to play."

I pass this knowledge on to you all now, don't play the games others want you to, expose the teeming larvae of lies under their tarps of chaotic intent for all to see. It is rancid, it is disgusting...and it is evil.

For Gods sake, do not be one of them. Do not lie to yourself or others. it brings only pain and sadness. it allows you to never be your true self, and sets up an unnecessary boundary between you and life, you and love...you and....you.

I fight the good fight...if I catch you lying or causing harm to others.... you really had better pray. HONESTLY.... you had better.

Peace and love, be safe and well.
PW

A Fiend in Need.........

2010-03-25T15:21:00.000-07:00

WELL.....here we are again after my soul was laid bare. So many changes have taken place, and forever it fascinates me how life surprises you. In the past weeks however, I have seen soooo many people in real life, and my stream of twitter people discussing friendship. I myself have seen some good friends come and go. However, I think the point is being missed COMPLETELY.

A FRIEND IS NOT THERE FOR YOU, they do not revolve around your needs and your life. Thats a trap of self absorbed narcissism and shows that you have absolutely missed the point of having a good friendship. If youre constantly stewing and having such obnoxious thoughts about how much your friends "do for you" or "if they are your "real friends", then guess what? THEY ARENT..... BECAUSE YOU ARENT TO THEM! Love and compassion are given as well as received, and just because you have differences of opinion, does not mean that your loved ones and friends are not people who care about you. That thought alone is ri-godsdamn-diculous and I for one would be ashamed of myself if I ever caught myself thinking that.

True friendship does not revolve around what your friends can do for you, or whether they agree with you. Its a selfless and unconditional state of being, like the purity of love. True friendship is a misnomer in itself and delineates as if there were no other kind. A friend is a friend unless they harm you, then they are an enemy. Its as simple as that. Its NEVER about what they bring to you, friends ARE A GIFT, it is about what you can bring to them. It is about the feeling of companionship and revelry, the common bonds you do share. If you begin focusing n what your friends are doing and not doing then quite simply...

you are in that friendship for the wrong reasons.

Ive seen many of people with their heads completely solidly up their ass about this. Who have lost sight of the big picture. I myself have friends who are angry or unhappy with me over different things over the past few months...and yes I care to some extent about that, but I will not let their unhappiness with my choices or my life ruin my outlook or change me in any way. Agreement to disagree is a powerful choice between friends, and doesnt make you any less of a friend.

Love and friendship are gifts, period. If you dont care for them, they fade or implode. Having expectations for your friends is a mistake, keep in mind you are two separate people. Your friends are NOT your lovers or mates, they have absolute separate lives, opinions, behaviors and lifestyles from you. If you spend so much time judging and in frustration over their choices, then you are the one failing them as a friend. They are not always going to agree with you, or you them. Does that make it unjust? Nope. Friendship is unconditional. PERIOD.

Why is friendship unconditional? Friendship is a form of LOVE.

Keep in mind you duty to those you call close to you. Not theirs, we cannot control others behaviors or perceptions, my life is much happier since I learned that as a teenager. I remember my duty FIRST, and if there ever arises a disagreement, instead of trying to change them or their minds...it is much easier to ask myself how I can rectify an issue on MY END. If I cannot, then I open a non-judgmental and honest dialogue, youd be surprised....works wonders.

Tell your friends you love them, take responsibility for yourself and your end of the friendship.... life is way too short not to.

To paraphrase a former president: "Ask not what a friend can do for you, ask what can you can do for your friends."

Thank you, and I love you.... all of my friends :)

PART TWO.... WHO IS THIS FUCKING FREAK????

2010-03-07T10:57:00.000-08:00

And so we continue the story of the last misconception of me...........

As I have summarized, it has been one trial after another in early childhood, and the best was yet to come. Death and I have a love/hate relationship....much like Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey, he and I have been playing games since my birth. I often imagine him waiting on the sidelines like Mr. Burns of The Simpson's fame, clasped hands and rubbing them with an evil smirk, each time I evade his traps, I can hear him scream like a Major League pitcher at the umpire "AWWWW COME ON!! WTF??" He was really pissed when I hit my twenties......

The twenties could easily be called my "bad boy" years. I was a literal Hellion, a smoking powder keg riding Hades rails. Fall of 1993-1994 left me in a breakup from my then GF, we reunited many months after and decided not to count our missing months, this still left us at the very end with 10 years and change. During the breakup, the hormonal imbalance that afflicts every young red blooded American male took hold in defiance and rebellious whorishness. I was freewheel burning nightly with my best friends, liquor and my already outspoken demeanor, if I wasnt fighting...yep...I was fucking. What didnt hurt things was my wheels, a 1976 Olds Cutlass Supreme I nicknamed "Mr. Crowley" after my favorite anti-hero. For sake of brevity, if not familiar just google the fucker ok?

That car was amazing and looking back mustve had parts on her from Stephen King's Christine or James Dean's old cursed Spyder (google that too bitches, Jesus!) It rumbled on wake-up. a 450 Rocket engine, glass packed dual exhaust, and the scoop grill which had an evil "Fuck Me...or I Will Fuck You" grin. I swear it loved me back...until....

May of 1994, Im working 3 jobs, 2 part time and another when I was able. Where doesnt matter, what does is that I was burning candles at both ends daily. I went to my day job, then left with a two hour gap for travel dinner and sleep before my night. Usually the gap at my night into day was 4-5 hours but alas, i had to find time for whoring! I left my night job early one night thanks to my boss, and instead of going home to sleep, yes i went to the nearest bar with my best friend who had met me at work. I ordered one drink, and didnt finish it, i felt uncomfortable and sweaty, so I suggested to him we leave, i would go clean up and we would head back out as "two wild and crazy guys to find hot foxes". He agreed.

Heres where it all fell apart and I thank GODS I only had one drink before making the decision to leave. My friend and I decided to play in and out, and drag race all the way home. He had a suburban, some year, I dont remember what, I had...Crowley. Of course odds were on me, but it wasnt really about the win, it was the thrill of speed, of giant raging grapefruit-sized balls, and of misspent youth. We took my stretch home, both heading toward 100 mph weaving in and out surpassing one another. Taking turns really. As I came above a slight hill I saw oncoming lights approaching faster than I gauged, seconds went swift, I tried, by angels I did, to move back into my original lane...problem was, his angels didnt co-ordinate the plan with mine...

The head on collision was massive, those who have weak stomachs and are disgusted by graphic descriptions, skip to the next.... as for the rest of you..... wait...theres a straggler..go on there weak tit.... ok...now we commence: The engine decided to imitate an authentic burrito and folded its frying self up and over me. I was essentially a Mexican melt without the Mexicans. At the point of impact, my legs... absolved themselves of my body and shattered, both of them, the right leg snapping and burying its shard harpoon like jagged edge into the curled dash straight through my skin. They were unrecognizable as legs, looked more like pseudopods of an alien species. Bone spit, muscle meat flew in all directions, nice pulled pork like substances ended up on my shoes (I warned you bastards!) and my left arm was rendered useless as well, broken in three places. Hairline fractures on my ribs and a half circle bruise from the now detached steering wheel completed the ensemble of damage. That bruise alone was a poignant reminder for an entire year before healing and disappearing.

The road was long, I survived and was told that if I did walk again, I wouldnt be the same. I have titanium rods in my legs that have set off early metal detectors at airports and bus stations as a grim token of stupidity. It took 8 years.... and over 17 reconstructive surgeries. The hospital was once again, my friend. The words that rang in my head. "If you walk again" made me angry, to defy their existence, I simply did. I was in and out of the hospital, a revolving door should have been named after me. I would begin to make progress and the rod would snap, or a bolt come lose, it scraped a nerve, it bent...on and on. I ended up laughing at the experiences. Surviving is only living when you have no other choice. In the end, those vague words ate themselves, today I stand upright and need no cane. Today I walk. Tomorrow, I run.

I suspect death made deals with the fates to strike back at me, he probably slept with those three bitches! For though I faced the challenge of this with my giant grapefruit sized balls of Thor... it kept coming!

I joined the workforce, at first under the table, then for real. When I was able to stand and work for 10 hour days I knew I had made it. I managed stores and even started school...the first time... things went well. I still partied hard until 2008.

I almost died in the middle of Walgreen's searching for my empty inhaler on the shelves. Down in an aisle, I grabbed the top of my knees..it had been years since that hard of an attack hit me. Either no one saw or no one cared to. I felt the dizziness of lack of oxygen, the world started to slip, and I became defiant again...I would not...NOT go in the middle of a bloated convenience store next to hula hoops and water slides brought out way too goddamn early in January! I calmed myself down using ancient yogic breathing taught in Tibet............ no fuckers! I counted to fucking 10 and relaxed, forced myself to breath and take more each time! The hula hoop mocked me, but finally I calmed. My uncle who was waiting in the car oblivious to my now hatred of summer toys, then drove me to the hospital...perhaps where I shouldve gone immediately.

Lastly, we come to the end. My only friend...the end, to para-quote Jim Morrison. The end so far that is...

That same year, I was on the sales floor at work. Another drudging ordinary day...until suddenly I felt dizzy and my ears popped and went muffly.... then I noticed my heart. My heart had decided, it was sick of me, waited until i had something else going out and made a break for it and suddenly jumped to 276 beats per minute. This raised my blood pressure to 209 over 186. Et Tu Heart-e? I always told people I had a rebel heart, the mother fucker took it literal!

I was rushed to the emergency room, fully conscious and joking...yes....joking. I flirted with the nurses, and made fun of the patients. My GF was right at my side, as we worked together at the same establishment, and reprimanded me in astonishment. If Im going out, I am making a scene. I told her we should take a defibrillator home instead of my nipples and car battery idea. She didnt find the humor.

To this day, the doctors still arent sure what happened. "Super-Ventricular tachycardia" was a name bandied about like an old war story, but never fingered as the culprit entirely. I had some tests, until my money ran out, and thankfully the medications I was given work. I had three more bouts of this high strangeness and every now and then my heart feels like its a 10lb. butterfly. An arrhythmia I can handle, not a heart that suffers the loneliness of a long distance runner. So the story goes....

Well, so far..thats it... that is why I believe in the things that I do, hardship of any kind has a purpose. Tests and challenges are not meant to teach you survival skills, they are meant to teach you to live. Surviving isnt enough and mere surviving...is lonely. We are meant to cherish our friendships and existence, our loved ones and the life were blessed with. We are meant to always ....become... not to stop evolving. Quite simply when you stop evolving, youre dead! Take not anything for granted while you are here, and harm none above all. Nothing is indeed sacred. What is sacred...we may find out on the other side. Until then, live, love, laugh, and love again. Become and question. Surely most of all, flip death the middle finger...he is an asshole.

Be safe and well...... and happy.

P.W.

The Journey Thus Far....... or Who Is This Fucking Freak? PART ONE

2010-03-03T05:35:00.000-08:00

I received alot of responses and commentary on my last post "Nothing Is Sacred" which is one of my long held life philosophies. One question I have gotten consistently with each post, or rant is a wondering soul angrily exclaiming, or possibly just innocently inquiring: "Who are you to say such things?" essentially, what gives me the right. I think that the people who asked were not so much asking philosophically or politically or I might point them to Descartes or our 5th amendment. Rather, I think it was an assuming hark towards my experience, not my God given right as a human being. Instead of strongly and defiantly extending a well toned and lightening fast middle finger towards the general public, I have decided more to tell you of some of the things that have shaped me as a person thus far.

First and foremost, and you may want to read this elucidating sentence more than once, I have been pronounced clinically dead three times in my life. Yes, three times! No vital signs, no respiration, nothing. The very first time was when I was born, I was allergic to the atmosphere and the second I was exposes in the womb by the forceps I went into anaphylactic shock. I was pulled out stillborn. Worked on for minutes without a scream or cry, the chaotic movements of doctors and nurses finally gave up after a short few minutes and my parents were told. If it werent for one nurse who either had forgotten her clipboard or went to shut off machines and noticed "feint breathing" I would not be here today. She demanded the doctors come back in and search for signs of life, the tiniest heartbeat was found as all the machines and room went dark by the resident on duty and I was rushed into an incubation chamber sterile of everything except an oxygen mix. I then stayed in such a chamber for the next 8-10 months (accounts from my family differ on this) and the natural air was fed in in extremely small amounts. It worked and finally I was allowed home.

Next, at age 10. I was a very sickly child as you can imagine, and spent virtually half my life in and out of the hospital for one reason or another. My parents spent every penny they had to keep me alive on their modest income. Debt for having a son? That I never wished upon them, and so, instead of telling them when I was sick I self medicated...oftentimes using my fathers inhaler with mine secretly or my home nebulizer to extend the length of time before I would need a new prescription. However, this oh-so brilliant plan failed when they changed my fathers inhaler, and mine wasnt compatible... my lungs went from asthmatic to locked and then pre-collapse. Once again by time i was thrust through hospital doors I was gone. This time however I was able to recount this story without help from a family member and, I wasnt gone very long before a heartbeat had resumed. When I awoke I scared some people unhooking me, as the machine beeped to life again.

The last time was by all accounts the worst. I had to go by age 12-13 or so to the doctor weekly for allergy shots. Oh what fun they were as Id wait for half an hour in boredom staring at old Highlights magazines or the doctors aquarium when id forgotten to bring a book. That fateful day my father went with me for my visit, the nurse entered the room and I looked at the shot she was carrying, something instinctive grew inside me...it looked wrong. Something, something......was wrong. I said so, and was ignored completely and was administered the "shot of death". Only seconds later my body tingled and my throat closed up, my lungs failed and my body rebelled against indignant toxins vile in their content such as extract of eggs and carrots, dust mite feces and wool. It was an Armageddon of allergenic stew coursing through my veins and I had no chance. While loaded into the paramedics ambulance I clearly heard one say, "Were losing him!" I was in and out of consciousness the ride to the hospital holding on to dear life like an amnesiac bird on a telephone wire. Just as we pulled up and i was still inside the ambulance, i heard the same voice say "We lost him!" that was the last thing I heard from this world for 3 minutes and 15 seconds.

3:15 Three-fifteen! When I awoke, I had a sheet over my face and pushed it off and aside. I still had some equipment hanging off me, disoriented, breathing very shallow, and the stench of my own shit Id evacuated filling my nose. In case you didnt know it, you shit when you die, so all that bullshit of wearing clean underwear is ridiculous when youre just going to foul it up like Elvis seconds after. It took a few minutes to talk, and breathe, as yet again another stray nurse wandered in. I gained her attention with a wave, as she ran out screaming for the doctors. I seem to have that effect on nurses Im guessing. My mother, forced her way in past most of the doctors and hugged me hard. Later she insisted on helping the nurse deal with my defecation. You know your mother loves you when she deals with your shit as a teen.

This was all before I reached full puberty. After this acne was a motherfucking breeze! Over my teen years there were no death scares, but a string of kneecap dislocations in BOTH knees ended a very short football career in high school. I was still in and out of the hospital and ended up having 2 orthoscopic surgeries on each leg. Hospitals, felt like home at this point, and a good thing too...as my story isnt over.

Alas youll have to wait for part two to hear the story of my twenties... but I think you are now understanding the general picture painted by this pre-apocalyptic traveler. I wasnt interested in fitting in, wearing trendy clothes, or what other people thought...my concentrations were more why am I here? Is there a point to this? Where am I going? While everyone else was battling social anxieties and chasing a popularity rat race for acceptance and approval, I was just trying to survive another day. Wondering what was next to come to challenge me.... I didnt have to wait excruciatingly long for that answer......

NOTHING IS SACRED.......

2010-02-07T06:07:00.000-08:00

Racist! Sexist! Stereotyping Prejudicial Discriminatory Asshole! Pervert! Liberal! Conservative Douche-bag!

Well now who could I be referring to? Many names may come to your mind I am certain. But actually, it is none other than me. (Gasp!) Oh yes, and what is worse than that, is I seem to be called these names both openly, and quietly in peoples inner dialogues daily. Oh yes...I know, how terrible you say, how dreadfully awful! Obviously they dont know you PW..well....you do. Its You.

Oh and many of you claim to, and ironically enough those who have these opinions claim to be intelligent and literate as well as anything but the myopic minded, self conscious people that I rant about. Why is this you say? How could this possibly be? "Not me for sure!" The answer is simple.... I dare to make JOKES!

The Joke.. an almost lost art form in reality. The psychotic drama making of the politically correct world that we live in, or rather that has been thrust upon us is full of damnation and rhetoric. Belligerent finger pointing from special interest groups wagging the dog for their own sick amusement have effectively killed the arts of sarcasm, irony, and free speech. This has now become a world where you cannot say certain words even in jest. Where you are forced to stop and think whether you will offend someone. The truth is whether youre black, white, male or female....whether youre heterosexual or homosexual, whether you have a handicap or not...you take yourself and your life too fucking seriously. The more people who point fingers at me, or Micheal Richards, Rush Limbaugh, Don Imus, Howard Stern or anyone that holds a public office or is an entertainer....the more I see they have not used the brains that God, or evolution (God forbid I piss off an atheist!).gave them.

Weve lost the ability to laugh at ourselves. That is tragedy and travesty enough. We have also lost the ability to think for ourselves as well. Letting sociology determine our individuality, and the plague of unethical fear cloud or own ability to use one of our greatest gifts.....reason. People in general have forgotten to reason. The fine art of thought and conjecture. Instead weve become slaves to our own insecurities and ruinous yet, prisoners of the labels that society has burned into our own brains like a brand of conformity. People are not a label, and surely labels arent people.

Believe it or not, there are occasions I censor myself, or make apologies for what I myself have said. When it hurts someone, it is a sincere regret. However, at the same time it fills me with a rebellious anger at myself, and society. I should not have to raise a white flag of admonition. I should not have to be made to feel as though I have done any wrong, and neither should you. At the end of the day, words are just that.... WORDS. The finest way of communicating that human beings thus far have come up with (excluding sex of course) and truthfully, if you let something someone else has said bother you, or make you feel uncomfortable it is within your right to not subject yourself to that. It is also within your right to recognize the context in which it was said, and use that wonderful archaic ability of reason to deem whether or not you "should" be offended.

Ive lived my life thus far by one philosophical order: "Nothing Is Sacred" For I believe that nothing is beyond ridicule, examination, or assessment. Religion, race, politics, disabilities and yes, sex... are all fair game to me. If you cannot laugh or meticulously disassemble a thought, ideal, person place or thing..then why the fuck are you here on planet earth? Youre wasting your brief time here entirely too seriously. Stressing yourself out over a word or two, and being just as discriminate as those you admonish. In other words, look in the goddamn mirror. Does this make me an insensitive prejudicial insolent ass? Nope. I know I disappoint some, but I am not. I am an objective observer who has enough strength of character to look past all the slurs and profanities to see people as human beings. I never needed anyone to tell me who I am, and would suggest the heresy that you dont either.

For those who are offended by words, then you miss the big picture. The words are only the afterbirth of the thought. Its the thoughts behind them, you should be concerned about, not the words themselves. The "real hate" is under the surface of smears and slang or insults. And sometimes ...shhhh...believe this or not, they are just jokes!

Lastly for the record, some of the people I mentioned I do not even like, not that that matters.

Meantime, Im going to go listen to my old Ice-T albums, so I can hear the word "nigger" 157 times. Ill probably watch an old episode of Queer As Folk, so I can hear a few "faggots" mentioned. Then watch "Helen Keller" with the sound off. Hope I havent raped your minds.

Maybe remembering at the end of the day, my favorite quote from Richard Pryor:

"It's hard enough just being a human being... just to walk through life decent as a person."

Men suck..Men are pigs, women are angels...WRONG!

2010-01-24T18:58:00.000-08:00

As much as I male bash on a daily basis, and I so do...... theres more to the story inherent in relationships.
It may surprise some, but the undeniable truth is it takes TWO to TANGO. (insert gasps and "no he di-int")

Throughout my life Ive heard the sob stories of tragic relationships time and time again...and usually by the same persons. I endeavor to be the last man in the desert with a shoulder to cry on ....but, theres another shining fact to the story that is called CULPABILITY.

Too many times its someone elses fault. "Why is every guy a cheater?" "Every guy I meet is an asshole!" "Arent there any good men?" BLAH BLAH BLAH! WAH WAH WAH!
The TRUTH is, you are dating the same goddamn man over and over because YOU WANT TO. Youre stuck in PATTERNS. Refusing to see that the main constant, the one thing UNCHANGED between you and all the men youve dated or every relationship...is ...... YOU! In all of the relationships youve had, with that asshole Brad, that jerk Mike, that abuser Don, whomever...the one thing that stayed the same was YOU. Mother-Fucking YOU. This goes for men as well. History repeats itself, in an infinite loop if the choices remain the same. Blaming others for your bad decision to date them in the first place? Blaming the men for being assholes when you clearly knew from the very first date, or first week. Self Destructive behavior is an endgame from the first initial greeting.

You are PREY to these types of men, make no mistake. Your search for APPROVAL, SECURITY and LOVE..are the weapons they use on you. Your own INSECURITIES against yourself. Its all too easy, a couple of compliments after insults and youre soon on your back doing mattress gymnastics or swallowing the aftermath. If this were to happen once, its obviously that you were duped! If it happens again and again, with no sight of an end, then guess who is to blame? NOT THE MEN! SORRY! They didnt force you to fall for them, they didnt force you to gobble their cock down like the last meal of an ex con before the chair. Its a conscious decision to be hurt. A conscious decision to be USED.

"What heresy is this?" Ladies, you know whats wrong...look in the mirror. Weve discussed the bad boys, the thugs, the cocky conceited self absorbed assholes briefly in the last blog. The predators. Yeah oh so fun right? Until you fall for them with their winning smile and charming mysteriousness. "Ooooh what are they hiding?" Well dear, more than likely the crabs they caught from suzi slutpot that he just gave to you, 2 of your best friends and you mom! AND YOU FALL FOR IT ALL!

Lesson #2. You will NEVER change this men with your "LOVE"

Just that thought is ridiculous to men. WE LAUGH AT YOU! Men do NOT change for ANYONE except ourselves and usually only through tragedy and getting old and tired of the same bullshit! As age sets in, its harder to fake and remember lies..thats who you have to thank..not your powerful love and ability to suck dick, instead...DNA and the inability to remember different names. it also helps that our sex drives lesson, otherwise the country would have developed a drug that remembers fabrications and falsehoods rather than Viagra and Alzheimers would have been eradicated thanks to the players of the world.

If you keep dating the same man in different skin, having the same tragic endings. YOU ONLY HAVE YOURSELF TO BLAME. All women want their daddy, their brother, or their sisters boyfriend. Some may disagree with that statement, I dont care! Why? Because we men know that THIS IS TRUE.

We trade you LOVE for SEX...... you trade us back SEX for LOVE. The dynamic is natural and hasnt changed since men clubbed women over the head in caveman days! WE OFFER SECURITY...which we know is the number one desire for women, over love even. To be held, protected..have that warm feeling inside. So we as men, bust our ass to either :
1. Appear Tough
2. Appear Wealthy
or
3. Both

Hours at the gym to build six pack abs or joining sports in HS. Finding high paying jobs and on our way to college for that big score. Hell! Even inner city gangs and kids who want to make cheddar. All instinctual, all a drive. Not for any other need than LUST. As men its the only reason we do anything...left on our own devices hetero men would eat junk food and watch sports (if it existed) or videos where guys take groin shots all day. Doing as little fucking work as possible to provide for food, shelter, and hand lotion.

Why break the smallest sweat when there is no competition? Women provide that factor invoking COMPETITION among men. It is what it fucking is.

So the really smart ones, the men among men,,arent as interested in the competition. Theyre interested in personal growth, and expanding their knowledge. Interested in medicine, and science and ancient cultures. They spend their time working hard thinking about the universe, or building bridges. The simple men of this eclectic set of men were brought up on farms and work the land for the sheer joy of it, creating from the earth. Some are romantics and write poetry, or greeting card sayings. Some are storytellers who write the books we read of every genre. Nice men. Good men. Men with soul and compassion, both pragmatists and dreamers....

But youll NEVER DATE THEM...THEY ARENT THE BAD BOY!

They arent wealthy, they arent built, they arent insulting enough to you so that you have to prove your worth to them! They treat you kindly and with respect...
OH GOD NO NOT THAT! ANYTHING BUT THAT!!!

Instead..you look past them to the Vin Diesel look-alike on the Harley behind them outside the coffee shop. Hes the one you want because you know hes going to insult you, play that game, fuck you hard for a week then disappear...... or date you for a year or two until youre finally comfortable, and hes fucked every one of your friends and tires of you...finally moving on to "someone better".

Meanwhile that nice guy, sits there in the coffee shop reading...maybe hell never be perfect, driven in his own way..with his own interests. Then again, I wonder how many women laughed at or never even gave notice to a Mr. Bill Gates.

The illusion that you have for yourself, that youre BETTER THAN THEM, is JUST AS DAMAGING AS YOUR BELIEFS THAT YOU NEED APPROVAL FROM ASSHOLES. Get off the goddamn high horse and take a look at yourself, a cold hard look. You have flaws too baby...NO ONE IS PERFECT.

A thin line between confidence and vanity. In the end, your relationship and life have become so fucked up, so self destructive, so full of self imposed behavioral tragedy that you actually believe that SETTLING for a nice, GOOD MAN...isnt an option. You then become cynical and find reasons, search for EXCUSES so no man will EVER REACH YOUR STANDARDS. Except, of course, the beautiful assholes! THE MEN WHO MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER ABOUT YOURSELF BECAUSE YOU FIND THEM ATTRACTIVE AND POWERFUL. It isnt LOVE, even LUST! Its an EGO BOOST BITCH! It isnt real, doomed to failure, and youll crash ending right where you were before....a cum covered mess changing your sheets and sobbing into a jug of ice cream, or to girl friends bitching about men who suck. HAHAHAHAHA! The pattern repeats!

But thats ok..stick to your patterns ladies, superficial and materialistic some of you may be...others self destructive because "it doesnt feel right" or "hes not what I think I want". The rest of us men, the real ones will eventually find real women whove grown up.

Lesson #3. LIFE IS NOT A MOVIE OR FAIRY TALE

Just as there is no BARBIE, there is no KEN. No WHITE KNIGHTS, NO MESSIAHS for the life YOU FUCKED UP! Good looking leading men in the MOVIES or in ROMANCE NOVELS are a FUCKING FANTASY! Unrealistic representations of what you start to BELIEVE you should have or NEED from an early age! The guy who can "handle it all" kill the bad guys, jump on a moving 747 IN FLIGHT, and make it home to his wife/girlfriend in time to make love to her and give her roses...are you fucking stupid? Men do the same thing...lusting after women who are fake representations in airbrushed glory. Who starve themselves eating a pea a day for lunch. But here is a glaring sad difference....men eventually grow up and become practical. They finally deny that image and the social constructs around it and crave women with cellulite and stretch marks. We realize at some point "Hey, thats not reality...real women are more beautiful." EVEN THE ASSHOLE PREDATORS DO THAT! Finally settling down and marrying.

But women? WILL LOOK FOR THAT FANTASY MAN...FOR THE DREAM...FOR THE MOVIE... FOR-EV-ER! The perfect man doesnt exist. Sorry. So you keep repeating the same pattern. Looking for perfection to make your own self image resolute. To make your own self consciousness about your body melt away. I have seen this AD NAUSEUM! Never ending! PATTERN RECYCLED! WASH RINSE REPEAT! The definition of true insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results. So you cry, and bitch, and whimper "Why is my life not what I want?" "Where is the savior who will make things right?" ANY TRUE GOOD WHITE KNIGHT WOULD SEE THAT MESS AND RUN FAR ASS AWAY! Your love life in continual ruin with no relent and no passion, with no warm heart to hold you.

And why should there be? When you continue to make bad choices and break no patterns? CULPABILITY.

The REAL MEN of the world are the FATHERS who get up at 3am and work a job that they hate for 8-16 hours a day! They are the men who put their lives on the line in our MILITARY, our FIREMAN, our POLICE. They are the men who offer you a coupon in the checkout to save you 25 cents off margarine...JUST BECAUSE. They are the men who spent 10 years in medical school and do exams for free. They are the men who instead of prioritizing their own vanity, decided to become teachers for 2nd grade. The man who opened the door for you as you walked into the post office...because he happened to be there. Yes, they all will find women who arent self absorbed with their own mistakes, who arent looking to be damaged again, and who will appreciate them.

As for the rest of you feeling sorry for yourselves and blaming the bad bad men of the world.......The good men walk past and decide youre damaged goods and we cannot help anyway. We want absolutely nothing to do with you. Sorry.

Have a NICE FUCKING DAY :)

FLASHING GREEN LIGHT Pt. II

2010-01-23T07:57:00.000-08:00

So...then how to tell when a man is SINCERELY interested in you?

Simple signs beyond that you have a vagina.

He LISTENS. He wants to be around you. He CARES.
He is true to his word!

On my recommended reading list for EVERY WOMAN is the great book written by Greg Behrendt,
"He's Just Not That Into You". Behrendt, a real man and great comedian who previously worked as writer on Sex In The City, told it like it really is.... if you missed it, check it out now. Check out his books and the latest stand up DVD as well "The Guy From That Thing" HYSTERICAL!

His Books are HERE on AMAZON

Greg Behrendt's Website: Hes MORE than just "the book"

"He's Just Not That Into You" the book, was later turned into a film. I have given 6 copies out to friends as gifts since it was published and should be required reading for ANY HETERO WOMAN. "It's Just A Date" is an incredible objectively written book as well.

It is insight that is needed on a large scale and a great starter book for anyone into men's minds.

BUY IT! READ IT! REREAD IT!

If a man is truly interested in you...he will make you KNOW it. He will be there, will take an interest in the things that you like...even if he himself hates them. Will look for reasons, even fabricating them himself, to talk to you...to be around you, to get closer to you. If a man doesnt do these things, he is not interested. Men arent as layered when it comes to love and sex...its all out in the open. If you dont get the sense he is interested than more than likely he isnt. Im sorry but that is the truth.

GIVE HIM CLEAR SIGNALS. if he doesnt react or act upon them, then his loss. Move on and write him off.

There are over SIX BILLION PEOPLE on this GODDAMN PLANET. If we slice that in half, that is 3 BILLION MEN therabouts...... DO YOU REALLY THINK YOU CANNOT FIND A MAN LADIES?

Thats a ridiculous beyond absurd assessment. EVEN if HALF of those men are GAY, thats 1.5 BILLION MEN! If you cannot attract a man, perhaps the reason is you really, in your soul, dont want to.

Whether you NEED a m,an or not is a sublect for another day...

BUT with all of those odds there is no reason you cant find and attract a good one. To think so is self destructive, defeatist, unrealistic and... CRAZY. Period!

We are no different than animals in the wild, when a man wants a mate..he is evident. You can SEE it. he hangs around and SNIFFS. So if a man is sniffing around you, guess what? Hes caught your scent. If hes calling, stopping by your work, gifting you, complimenting you, its obvious. MEN ARE OBVIOUS. We arent good at deception, at least not in the initial stages of courtship.

Now you may run across the men who let you come to them, who are offputting and stand offish. Who act cool as a cucumber and let you make move after move while giving you just enough to let you think theyre interested in more.

BEWARE THESE ASSHATS! Its a GAME! Theyre players playing you ALL THE WAY! making you come to them! RUN RUN RUN because that is a broken heart waiting to happen with jizz filled condoms next to the bed and your face in a shameful walk home after hes used your body.

TO THESE MEN YOURE NOTHING BUT A HOLE! PERIOD.

Youre worth fawning over a little, youre worth a phonecall a day, or a box of candy and flowers. Players PLAY. They are always on the game and will let you hang on for as long as possible.

The PUSH/PULL game is an old standby. it WORKS, and I still see women daily falling for this shit!. "Oh youre so beautiful, Ill call you" then he doesnt for 5 days. he makes you hang on to that central point, never too far away, never close enough...until he wants a BJ or your cunt. These Guys will do this forever, and before you know it, the love of your life..that handsome man..is married! To someone else! Worse...youre STILL ON STANDBY..he calls you and sends you txts now and then, knowing you will do whatever he wants for the illusion of having him.

These "bad boys" are what you want...and will eventually lead to your downfall. Broken, miserable, and loss of self respect. This is why I warn against these guys at every turn, theyre out there like predators...dont be the prey!

Simple RULE #1. If a man doesnt call you the day after you have sex with him, LOSE HIM! PERIOD!

Its that easy. That concrete. REAL MEN DONT PLAY GAMES and dont wait when they want to call.

YOU WERE USED...get over it, hope you used him back.... move on and dont let HIM DO IT AGAIN.

UNLESS...its on your TERMS ;)

Hes not the man to love...and there are plenty out there more deserving and grateful for a good woman.....so why waste time and energy???

MOVE ON. NEXT.

Keep an eye out, and youll do just fine :)

FLASHING GREEN LIGHT, FOLLOW ARROW, HINT HERE!

2010-01-23T07:09:00.000-08:00

AHHH Relationships and Sex...Ill be discussing these alot as its the majority of questioning and concern I receive from people who know me in real life and online.

Am I a relationship expert? At the risk of sounding arrogant, hell yes I fucking am! Do I have credentials or a psychology degree? NO...however, have studied human behavior and am quite well read. Sociology and Psychology are deep loves for me over the past twenty or so years and I am ALWAYS observing the interactions of and between people. I have been surrounded by women my entire life, and have too many female friends and acquaintances to count, I am also a man..and know how men think. Lastly, as usual is my disclaimer that I will speak the truth... some will love it, others may hate it... but there it is and some may find it invaluable.

In later posts I will explore MEN and WOMEN in detail specifically. I will Isolate what we see and attempt to busts the myths we perceive as truths. For today, just a....preamble if you will, a forward before chapter one.

HINTS

Ladies ..... Men, are STUPID! We are completely ignorant. WE DONT GET HINTS. Period. As well as I read women, and very well thank you very fucking much, there is nothing in the entire world more frustrating then a woman who gets irritated, depressed, angry, or herself frustrated when we, as men, do not understand her HINTS.

We MEN ARE LITERAL. YES, even GAY MEN. We see what we WANT to see half the time. Were also fraidy cats of unimaginable proportions at times. We want GREEN LIGHTS in order to proceed..into relationships, into sex, everywhere. We love the chase and challenge. LIVE for the THRILL of the hunt as our predecessors before us did long ago...on the plains and in the forests. That natural instinct still exists, however... why hunt what has no interest in being caught?

I hear from women constantly "How do you know when a man has interest in you?"

Ask yourself, do you have a vagina? Any orifice on your body? Then more than likely you have the prerequisite. Men arent complicated creatures and far far less complicated than women. The blazing neon truth is...shhhhh.... "WE WANT THE SAME GODDAMN THINGS AS YOU DO"

Desired, loved, wanted, needed. Human needs.

Just as women want the confident man, the Alpha Wolf....Men want the WANTON SLUT.

"OMG how horrible, I wont be a slut!"

Im not telling you to, BUT...why do you think men watch so fucking much porn? What is one theme in porn that is present in 99% ?

AGGRESSIVE CONFIDENT NO-NONSENSE WOMEN!

Women who are COMFORTABLE with their bodies, Women who are aggressive and WANT SEX..Women who give that GIANT BLINKING GREEN LIGHT! So that the man doesnt have to go into an infinite loop of Freudian guessing games and drive himself batshit crazy.

Its that simple.

Men want the Female Alpha Wolf. The one who gives us CLEAR SIGNALS.

That doesnt mean to women that you shouldnt use your natural FEMININE WILES or toss out the fine and beautiful art of SEDUCTION. There is truly a magical essence to watch a woman lure a man.... BUT, keep in mind MEN are DENSE CHICKENSHITS! We sometimes need that clear and concise "I Like You" or "Jesus Christ! Are you Going To Fuck Me Or Not???"

Seduce. Enchant. Enslave.

Its your life, get the most from it.

HELP! I NEED SOMEBODY.. HELP! Not Just Anybody....

2010-01-17T06:10:00.000-08:00

I see insensitive comments abound and hear them too. Well, heres another... perhaps the earthquake would have never occurred if the country in question would have called itself "Lovee" instead of Haiti. Pontificates such as Rush Limbaugh and Pat Robertson absolutely disgust me on a daily basis. The lack of humanity and human compassion is astounding! That being said, I couldnt help but feel curious and tried to find out if the Haitians were there for us during our crises. Now this is an innocent question as politically i am an independent and attempt to always keep an open mind and use strong critical thinking skills. I was only inquisitive, so damn me for it if you wish, no one forced you to follow or read this.

In retrospect, soon after I asked this question in my mind, it was ridiculous! Much like a man without legs offering to carry a bodybuilder around on his back for a day! Hait's GNP is 11.8 Billion dollars...which seems like a great amount, until you compare it to the highest paid basketball players in the US. For those curious, the United States GNP as of 2008-2009 is 14 TRILLION. Bill Gates clocking in at 42 Billion can literally almost buy and sell this tiny country 4 times over!

As of this morning, the American Red Cross claims that they are nearing and will surpass 5 Billion dollars in donations, thats half of what haiti as a country makes in an entire fucking year! So my own simple minded question resonated into shame. Yet, I needed to know out of sheer curiosity. Though I did not find Haiti as a contributor specifically, I did find a list of all the countries Here and what they allegedly donated. I found it a bit surprising that America had received anything since France gave us the Statue of Liberty, even though she really needs to do something about those eyebrows, shes starting to look like a shave and paint them on hoodrat from East LA, it caused me to be humbled before the generosity of the world.

What bothers me, and made me ask the question in the first place, was not that Haiti was getting aid. It succinctly was that at this moment, with almost a fourth of our country unable to find work, people dug deep and gave money. That is a wonderful humanitarian and deeply compassionate thing to do when so many are struggling. People have lost houses, some are living on the streets, and let us not forget others walked and lived on those same streets before the unappreciated crop of "new poor" were cast out like last years iPhone when a newer version came out. Where was all this money before? In our own backyard? Not just right now... but years ago? The most powerful country in the world hasnt compassion unless an act of nature intervenes.

It doesnt take a village......it takes a tragedy.

My prayers and positivity go forth to haiti in their time of need...but as well it goes for Mr. and Mrs. John Doe who reside in America and struggle daily. it goes out for our Veterans who came back to nothing and were forced to live on the streets, to our children who are abandoned or run away because their home lives are unimaginable horrors and they finally make an escape. When nothing is better than the everything you have, its time we take a closer look at ourselves. Perhaps if we took the took the blocks of wood from our own eyes we could better see and help those who need help with a thorn in their own.

USA...we are not the worlds police, and neither are we the messiahs. Give to Haiti, but remember our own single solitary tragedies at home, that didnt take an earthquake to cause...merely a mistake, a choice, or the luck of the draw.

Im off to buy homeless bum a burger today, and ask him if he knows what aid Haiti gave to us when we struggled with Katrina, then maybe we will say a prayer for them together...and then another for ourselves.

This is the first installment! FINALLY!

2010-01-16T04:03:00.000-08:00

WELCOME! This is the first installment of "Beyond the Cold" the official blog by the one and only ME! Some know me as the infamous "Pussy Whisperer" others by my lifelong nickname Wolf, and very few by my real name. Names are important, there is a mystical quality within a name far more than just a description. They are symbolic, and relative at times, yet always a declaration.

So why "Beyond the Cold" as my name than something lascivious and naughty you ask? The name is fully "Beyond the Cold TRUTH" as thats what will come mostly from my mouth, as you would expect and some accept nothing else from me. This is where I will tell you the truth as I see it at times, but other times the cold cold simple truth that most do not wish to see. The dark places within themselves that we as humans, just do not want to admit to ourselves. The agony and ecstasy of our psyches, I will pull out the shadows into the light for all to see. Those who are prudish, this is your exit point...get fucking out. I will more than likely offend with common sense in my monologues and diatribes infinitely! I have lived my life pushing envelopes in different ways and I believe strongly in the quality of freedom of speech. If you are weak or feint of heart, susceptible to rage or heart problems,or are hardwired with closed minded myopic viewpoints then, this is not a place you want to be near.

Content will range from whatever is on my mind from relationship advice to technology, current events, entertainment and things that just generally piss me off. I will swear and curse when I feel necessary, and will be as graphic as possible at times. Why? WHY NOT. Life is TOO SHORT to only make right decisions!

To my friends who have awaited and followers from twitter...I welcome you with warm copping a definite feel hugs. You encouraged me, and I now do the same to visit and call this place a bit of home.

I am what I am and it is what it is.

You were warned :)